


Uncharted Waters

by easyliving



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Relationship, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Other, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 39,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29280339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easyliving/pseuds/easyliving
Summary: When journalist Therese Belivet arrives in a small beach town for vacation, she does not expect the whirlwind romance she finds herself in with Carol Aird, the mysterious blonde who owns the local bed and breakfast. What starts out as an escape from her busy life in the city, soon turns into a journey of self discovery and a summer that she will never forget.
Relationships: Carol Aird/Abby Gerhard, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet, Therese Belivet/Richard Semco
Comments: 302
Kudos: 236





	1. New Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back.....

Therese stepped off the plane in the small beach town of Nerinda, with a creeping sense of dread. Her summer getaway had only just started, but had already been tampered with. 

She had felt incredibly appreciative and touched when her boyfriend, Richard, surprised her with the trip, it was exactly what she needed after months of non stop working. They both loved their careers as journalists, but the job required a high level of commitment. The time off was what kept her going these past few weeks, as well as the promise to have undisturbed time with Richard, however that plan was quickly uprooted. At the last minute, her boyfriend had been given the opportunity to cover a story overseas for the summer. Richard didn’t even consult with Therese before accepting and now they were on separate planes going to separate destinations. Yes, the offer had been an incredible one, but Therese had hoped that they would have talked it through together like an actual couple. 

Walking through the small airport, Therese was determined to not let the situation get to her. She was here for a break, to reset and relax and that was exactly what she was going to do. She didn’t need to have a companion or boyfriend with her, she was perfectly capable of entertaining herself and enjoyed her own company. As Therese gave herself the mental pep talk, she tried her best to believe these statements, which was easier said than done. She was disappointed and frustrated, but she needed to put all of that aside now. She couldn’t spend her whole summer mulling over Richard. 

Therese collected her bag from the luggage carousel and got into one of the available taxi’s out front. 

“Where to?” the driver had asked her after she put her seatbelt on.

Therese checked an address on her phone, “A bed and breakfast called…”

“-got it,” the driver started the car. 

Therese was puzzled, “Don’t you need the address?”

The driver smiled at her in the rearview mirror, “There’s only one bed and breakfast here. There’s only one of everything in Nerinda, actually.”

Therese smiled weakly, “I suppose that makes it easy.”

She looked out the window as the taxi pulled away from the airport and onto a main road. How small was this town exactly? She asked herself. Great, she was going to be all alone in the middle of nowhere. So much for a romantic getaway. 

“Where are you visiting from?” the driver asked after a while. 

Therese felt defensive, “Is it that obvious?”

She heard a faint chuckle, “As I said, Nerinda is small. There are few faces here that I don’t know. We only get a handful of tourists throughout the year.”

“I’m from New York City.”

A low whistle, “And you decided to come here?”

“I must say, you’re not a great ambassador for your town,” Therese cracked a smile. 

“It will definitely be a change of pace for you,” the driver said as a conclusion. 

“Well that’s exactly what I want.”

The car passed through residential streets and a school with children playing outside. Within a short amount of time, Therese already picked up on the sense of community within the town. The people who lived here displayed an idyllic sense of courtesy and kindness towards each other. Everyone seemed to know each other and watch out for one another. It all looked almost too perfect, the journalist inside Therese desperately wanted to find the cracks within the flawless facade. She wanted to know the truth buried beneath all the smiles and picturesque scenery. Perhaps this trip would prove to be more interesting than she previously believed.

They arrived at what looked to be the main strip of the town. Therese looked through the window at the several stores and businesses that decorated the area. The area led down to the marina and docks as well as a beach. She could make out a historic building at the far end of the beach, away from everything else. It was made of brick with a beautiful wraparound porch and ivy climbing the sides. It stood out from the rest of the town and left Therese intrigued. 

“Hey, do you mind stopping here? I think I want to get out and walk around a bit,” Therese asked the driver. 

“No problem. Just follow the beach and you’ll get to the bed and breakfast. It’s at the end there.”

The car pulled off to the side of the road and Therese handed the driver several bills. 

“Thank you so much.”

“My pleasure.”

Therese got out and collected her bag, “I guess I’ll see you again sometime?”

The driver smiled, “The odds are pretty good. I’m Phil by the way. See you around, new girl.”

The taxi took off down the uneven road and Therese was soon left in the middle of town square with her suitcase and bag. She wasn’t sure what to do next, but then spotted a cafe. When in doubt, coffee is always there for you, she thought to herself. She felt a little self conscious about lugging her suitcase into a coffee shop, but oh well, the caffeine was much more important. 

Once inside the establishment, she got an Americano and sat down at a table by the window. The cafe was quaint and charming, but she figured that would be an accurate description for everything and anything in Nerinda. The town was a backdrop for a photo op wherever you went. Even the people seemed fictional and a part of some constructed world, Therese wondered if the constant politeness and friendliness would get to her by the end of the summer. She had to develop a thick skin living in New York that she was incredibly thankful for, but she knew it established within her a tendency to be a little guarded and blunt. She’d often been described as stand-offish and bitchy, when she thought she didn’t earn it. 

“Gotta say… the suitcase is a dead give away,” said a voice from behind her.

Therese looked up to see a young man, probably about the same age as her, with dark hair and a kind face. 

“I thought it would stave off the questions,” Therese explained sarcastically. 

“I’m Dannie McElroy,” the man offered, “I own the local newspaper here.”

Therese nodded towards the seat across from her, “Do you want to sit?”

“Really?”

Therese shrugged, “You look pretty harmless.”

Dannie sat down, “I’ll take that as a compliment. You here for work? Vacation?”

“Vacation. I’m here for the rest of the summer.”

“In it for the long haul, huh? Well, I’d be happy to show you around. The tour is only five minutes but it’s a good one,” Dannie joked easily. 

“That’d be nice. I’m here alone so I’d appreciate having a friend,” Therese admitted. 

Dannie paused, “Was someone supposed to come with you?”

Therese looked away, “My boyfriend, but he had a work thing last minute.”

“A work thing that lasts two months?” Dannie’s eyebrows were raised. 

“Yeah…”

“It’s okay you don’t have to talk about it,” Dannie said quickly, “Fuck him, it’s his loss. He’s going to miss out on my amazing five minute tour.”

Therese couldn’t help but laugh, “I think we’re going to get along well, Dannie.”

“We’d get along great if I knew your name,” Dannie quipped. 

“Oh it’s Therese. Therese Belivet.”

“Well, Therese Belivet,” Dannie stood up, “Shall we?”

“We’re going for the tour now?”

“Do you have anywhere else to be?”

“You’ve got a point.”

They left the cafe and Dannie glanced down at Therese’s bag, “I forgot. Do you want to drop that off first?”

Therese shrugged, “It’s fine, it’s not too heavy.”

“We’ll make Carol’s place the last stop then,” Dannie said as he started to walk.

Therese hesitated, “Carol’s place?”

“Yeah, Carol Aird. She runs the bed and breakfast here, it’s been in her family for years.”

“Is there a lot of money in her family?”

“I don’t know,” Dannie answered honestly, “She’s pretty mysterious. But most people who live here own one of the local businesses, there’s so few of us. I have the newspaper, Abby Gerhard owns the pub over there, the bookstore is run by this woman Genevieve Cantrell and so on.”

They walked through the main street and Dannie pointed out the several businesses and stores to Therese. 

“Wow,” she said after a while. 

“I really wasn’t kidding. Nerinda is small.”

“I’m just wondering how my boyfriend even found this place. I’d never heard of it before,” Therese said as she looked around. 

“A lot of people end up here because they took the wrong exit and meant to go to Portland.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s true. The people who intentionally come usually end their vacation early. Or just stay for a couple hours to take pictures for their Instagram.”

“You’re just like my taxi driver,” Therese observed, “A horrible ambassador for your town.”

Dannie threw his head back and laughed, “Your driver was my brother. Don’t get me wrong we both love living here, but we recognize how isolated it is here. The people here either get stuck or leave the minute they can.”

“This town sounds like one that would be in a Nicholas Sparks novel,” Therese said sarcastically. 

“That’s a very accurate assessment.”

Dannie guided them down to the docks and they looked out over the small marina and at the ocean. It truly was beautiful and idyllic. Therese could understand why people felt so compelled to stay. Nerinda was a perfect, safe little bubble. The town may be small, but it had everything a person could need, it wasn’t necessary to leave. 

“I didn’t know air quality like this existed,” Therese half joked.

“I gotta say, this sight never gets old.”  
The duo stood there for a while before Dannie eventually cleared his throat and looked at Therese.

“Well we have one stop left, then that’s it. You’ve seen basically all of Nerinda.”

They walked by the docks and along the beach towards the bed and breakfast. The closer they got the more Therese realized how different the establishment was than other buildings in town. It was old, yes, but had a haunting yet intriguing quality to it. The place looked like something out of a gothic southern novel and Therese was desperately excited to see if the inside was just as beautiful. 

They reached the porch and Dannie helped get Therese’s bags up the stairs. He glanced through the windows and turned back with a smile. 

“She’s at the front desk. Come on, I’ll introduce you,” he said. 

Dannie opened the door and walked ahead of her, “Hey, Carol.”

“Hi Dannie.”

Therese couldn’t see Carol from behind Dannie, but the woman’s voice sent a shiver through her whole body. The voice was deep and warm with a melodic tone to it, it belonged to a 1950’s hollywood starlet draped in furs with a cigarette posed between her fingers. 

When Therese finally caught a glimpse of Carol, however, she realized that description wasn't far off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't even gone that long, but it feels so good to be back! Let me know what you think of the start of this new story :) 
> 
> “The name Nerinda is a girl's name of Greek origin meaning "sea nymph, mermaid.” This is one of the more unusual examples of a group of Greek names connected to the sea.”


	2. People Talk

Since she was a child, Carol had the dream. If possible, it’s become more visceral, more haunting over the years. When she was younger, her father had written it off as her imagination, as a manifestation of something her mind was trying to process or understand. Carol knew this wasn’t true though, the dream didn’t feel like a part of her subconscious, it felt separate from her. As strange and spiritual as it sounded, she believed it to be a clue or a message, why else would it be so repetitive, so insistent? She was thirty-eight and she still hadn’t figured it out and wondered if she ever would.

Tonight was the same. Carol went to bed and before she was aware of it, she had succumbed to sleep and her mind had started to explore its thoughts and fears and desires. These internal processes always led back to the dream, however. 

It starts inside the bed and breakfast except it is completely empty and cold. Carol is there alone, covered in a simple white dress, barefoot and with her hair falling in a tangled heap down her back. After adjusting to her surroundings the need to chase something enters her body. She runs towards the exit and pushes the doors open to reveal a stormy ocean at dusk. She races down the stairs and onto the sand of the beach, nothing is around her yet she runs with purpose, towards something. The sound of the waves is loud in her ears and the wind tears through her, she’s cold, but she doesn’t care. Her cheeks start to sting and she realizes she’s crying, tears race down her face. A hollow ache fills her chest that she can only describe as… loneliness. Something is missing, something has been taken from her that she needs to get back. She continues to run until something comes into view in front of her. It’s unclear what it is, it’s shapeless and indecipherable, but Carol feels a familiarity towards it. Just as it starts to take form into something recognizable, Carol wakes up. 

Carol woke as she usually did, in a cold sweat and upright in her bed. It took about five minutes for her to calm down and regulate her breathing. Her bedroom was cloaked in darkness and Carol knew it was late, it always was when she woke from this dream. She didn’t bother trying to fall back asleep, she knew it was a futile endeavour. She was an insomniac in general, but this recurring dream had messed with her sleep even more so. She rose, hastily made her bed, tied her robe around her and started to turn on a few lights. 

She lived in a little house on the same property as the bed and breakfast that was separate to it. The space was just over six hundred square feet, but it was perfect, she was the only one living there after all. She loved the creaky floors, the windows partially made from sea glass, the stone fireplace and abundance of beautiful, walnut made furniture. It was the only home she’d ever known. 

Carol took some time and tidied up around her cozy home. She cleaned stray dishes, folded blankets, put away books and dusted her shelves. She dressed as she usually did, simple, yet presentable in a long flowing dress in a muted colour. She ran a comb through her long, golden curls, put some sunscreen on, grabbed her things and headed out. By this time, the sun had started to rise and cast a purple, pink hue over Nerinda. 

Carol made her way along the beach and towards the main part of town. She passed the grocery store, the newspaper and arrived at the local pub, owned by her best friend, Abby Gerhard. She walked up to the door beside the main entrance, fished out a spare key and let herself in. After walking up a set of stairs, she reached her friend’s apartment, the smell of cigarettes immediately present. She found her friend sound asleep, half dressed and tangled up in her bedsheets. She bent down and squeezed the woman’s shoulder, who shrugged her off and rolled over. 

“Wake up Gerhard,” Carol said in a sing-song voice. 

Abby groaned and shoved a pillow over her head, “Remind me why I gave you a key again?”

“Because I’m your best friend.”

Abby’s voice was muffled, “At six am that’s not a good enough reason.”

Carol sat down and on the bed, “I’ve been up since three this morning. I couldn’t sleep.”

Abby rubbed her eyes, “When can you ever? Nothing tires you, not even five rounds with me.”

“Only you, Abigail Gerhard, successfully manage to bring sex into every conversation,” Carol was exasperated. 

Abby grinned mischievously, “What can I say? It’s a passion of mine.”

Carol rolled her eyes, “You’re ridiculous.”

Abby sat up and kissed Carol’s shoulder, “You know deep down that your life would be so boring without me.”

“No, without you in my life I would finally have some peace and quiet for once,” Carol quipped. 

Abby reached up and brushed some of the hair out of Carol’s face, “Something on your mind? You seem off.”

Carol shook her head and looked at her lap, “It’s nothing. I just had that dream again.”

“You know there’s things you can take for that,” Abby was not sympathetic, she’s heard this all before. 

“I don’t want to,” Carol explained, “It feels too important. It’s not just a dream.”

Abby sighed, “Whatever, do what you want. You always do.”

The auburn haired woman swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She was dressed only in a cotton t-shirt and her underwear. Carol’s eyes unintentionally ran over Abby’s toned, exposed legs. She looked away. 

“I’m having a shower. Are you going to stay for a bit?”

“A little while. I have to head back soon.”

Abby tilted her head towards the bathroom and smiled coyly, “You can always join me, you know?”

“We need to stop doing that. We should have stopped years ago,” Carol said warningly. 

“You need to relax, Carol.”

“People talk, you know?”

“Since when did you care about what people say about you?” Abby’s tone was harsh. “You’re already the mystery woman of Nerinda.”

“I just don’t think we should do it anymore,” Carol repeated. 

“Yeah, yeah I heard you,” Abby said dismissively, “You know I saw you checking me out earlier. Your words don’t really match your actions. We’ve been talking about this for years and guess what? It still hasn’t stopped, because you know I’m a fantastic fuck.”

Before Carol could respond, bathroom door slammed shut and the shower turned on. 

\- - - - 

Her interaction with Abby left a bitter taste in Carol’s mouth for the rest of her morning and made her irritable. She hated how easily the woman got to her, but knew deep down that what Abby had said held some truth. As infuriating and sometimes unhealthy their friendship, if you could call it that, was, Carol stuck around. Abby was the only ally Carol had in this town, the only person who actually knew her, that was too important for her to pass up. Somehow, Abby Gerhard always managed to get her way, especially when it involved Carol. 

She was getting some work done in the afternoon when one of the McElroy brothers, Dannie, made an appearance. She greeted him with as much politeness as she could muster given her horrible mood, but immediately froze when she saw who was with him. 

A petite creature with huge green eyes, raven hair and flushed cheeks. The girl’s clothes and visible suitcase easily established her as from out of town, but to Carol it felt like she was from a completely different world. Maybe it was her posture, her body language or her reserved expression that made her stand out, Carol was unsure. There was something familiar about the brunette that she couldn’t quite place, it was like they were old friends meeting after a long time apart. 

It was a couple moments later that Carol realized she had been staring, but then she noticed how Therese's reaction wasn’t too far from her own. The brunette looked stunned, like she was looking at the sun or something completely foreign. Carol couldn’t help but feel amused by the startled expression across the young woman’s beautiful features, it was extremely endearing. Therese’s deer caught in headlights like reaction quickly turned, however, when Carol saw the green eyes quickly flit over her own figure. The unabashed attention and appreciation in the look made Carol feel warm and she broke her eye contact, looking at Dannie instead. 

“This is Therese,” Dannie offered, “She’s on vacation here for the rest of the summer.”

“Therese,” Carol repeated the name aloud, “Not Theresa?”

Therese shook her head, “Just Therese.”

The two women shared an even look with tension behind it that was undoubtedly palpable. 

“What an interesting name,” Carol couldn’t deny the flirtatious tone that had entered her voice. 

Therese’s cheek flushed an even darker shade, “Thank you.”

Whatever was transpiring between them was obviously lost to Dannie. 

He looked between them as if nothing had happened, “Well I’ll leave you in Carol’s very capable hands,” he said to Therese.

Carol nodded towards him, “Thank you.”

Therese rolled her suitcase up to the front desk and got out some papers that had her reservation on them, as well as her wallet. Carol took them from her and looked them over. 

“You have a beautiful place here,” Therese observed, “It was the first thing I noticed when I got into town.”

Therese’s attempt at prolonging conversation didn’t go unnoticed by Carol, who bypassed the comment with ease. 

“It says here that your reservation was booked by a Richard Semco?”

Carol tried her best to speak calmly and not reveal her displeasure at the possibility of a boyfriend joining Therese. Was the girl straight? 

“He’s not coming,” Therese said quickly, “There was a change of plans.”

The brunette’s tone was transparent. Carol had to physically prevent her mouth from forming a smile.

“I see,” she said. 

“He had a work thing,” Therese excused him.

A work thing? That’s pathetic, Carol thought. She set the papers down and checked Therese in on her computer system. 

“I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just disappointing is all,” Therese said after a while. 

Carol looked back at Therese. She looked… embarrassed? 

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said gently, “Some things are out of our control.”

“I guess,” Therese muttered. 

Carol retrieved the key for Therese’s room and slid it across the desk, “You’re in room six. You can take the stairs over there and turn left, you won’t miss it. Breakfast is served from seven to nine daily.”

Therese took the key and hesitated, clearly unsure of what to say next. 

“Do you need help with your bags?” Carol asked. 

“No I’ll be fine…” the other woman seemed to be distracted, “Thank you.”

“Your welcome, just let me know if you have any questions or if there’s anything I can do,” Carol’s customer service voice was in full force. 

The end of the interaction felt strange considering the intimacy it held at the beginning, both women were aware of this, but didn’t know how else to conduct themselves. Something had passed between them that was inexplicable and fleeting in the moment. 

Therese gathered her things and started towards the stairs. It was when she had disappeared from sight that Carol realized her palms were slick with sweat. She knew hardly anything about Therese, but knew that she was going to get herself in trouble with her. This was going to be one long summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are a long term reader of mine you know that I have a soft spot for Abby as a character, however, in this story she is going to be INCREDIBLY toxic because - angst. 
> 
> As always your thoughts and comments are very much appreciated (and are what keep me inspired to write!)


	3. Tell Me More

It was rare for Therese to experience nervousness, or embarrassment. She had always been good at holding her ground in difficult situations and around others who had a more authoritative or dominating presence. She hardly ever found herself tripping over her words or feeling flustered in social interactions. This apparently did not apply when she was around Carol Aird, however. 

The moment Therese was inside her room, she pressed her back against the door and took a deep breath that she had been holding for God knows how long. She couldn’t explain what just happened, somehow those five minutes with the woman had felt like five hours and not necessarily in a negative way. When was the last time she felt this dismantled, this shaken by an encounter with someone? 

When she’d first seen Carol beyond the front desk in the lobby, it was like she’d looked directly at the sun. She was absolutely breathtaking. The woman’s fair complexion and golden hair gave her an ethereal look that was only embellished further by the striking blue of her eyes. Therese had seen many blondes in her lifetime, but Carol was no average blonde, she brought new standards and expectations to that simple and recurring description. Her high cheekbones, stately nose and full lips were what many tried to emulate through makeup and cosmetic procedures, but Carol sported these features naturally, like she was unaware of how attractive she was. She carried a grace and poise about her that suggested a higher level of confidence and self esteem, but also gave off the impression of shyness in her demeanour and way of speaking. Therese was absolutely captivated by her, for many obvious reasons as well as some that she didn’t fully understand. She wanted to know more, she wanted to know everything about Carol Aird. 

Therese spent the next little while unpacking and familiarizing herself with the beautiful room she would be staying in for the remaining of the summer. It was tastefully decorated, but simple, not overpowered by any evident need to impress. It also had a spectacular view of the beach and the ocean which was quite literally out the front door. Therese could understand why Richard booked for them to stay in Nerinda and at this specific bed and breakfast, it was hopelessly quaint and romantic. With more of an idea of where she would be spending her time for the upcoming weeks, however, Therese was looking forward to having this time alone and to herself. She could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. She’d return to New York at the end of the summer and boast to Richard about what a wonderful time she’d had. 

After she finished, she set out into town again in search of some dinner. She stopped at the store and picked up a few things. Fruit to keep in her room, a salad and sandwich as well as a few beers. She took her purchases up to an available cashier, an older woman with a sweet face and large glasses. She had a small name tag attached to her sweater that read, “Ruby.”

“Hello,” Therese greeted her. 

“That’s a face I haven’t seen before!” the woman exclaimed, “Where are you from, dear?”

“New York,” Therese put her items down on the counter. 

The woman looked down at her selections with an expression of pity.

“Please don’t tell me this is your dinner. I don’t want you thinking this is the best you can get in Nerinda,” the cashier said. 

Therese smiled politely and handed over a couple bills, “For tonight, yes. I’ll check out the restaurants tomorrow. Do you have any recommendations?”

“Well if you want something casual, Abby’s pub is great. Are you a fan of seafood?”

“I haven’t tried much,” Therese admitted. 

“You’ll be spoiled by what we have here. It’s all freshly caught. Crab, salmon, oysters. You have to try the oysters. Tommy has a fish and chip shop over by the marina.”

Therese was charmed by the woman’s overt enthusiasm, “Thank you, I’ll keep all of that in mind. Have a good evening.”

“You too, dear.”

Therese took her packed bag and headed back towards the B&B. When she got there she considered going back up to her room, but decided to walk out onto the beach and find a place to sit instead. The sun had started to go down and there was a warm breeze that blew through her. She found a spot near a log that was tall enough to act as a backrest. She took out her food and began to eat, content with the beautiful scene in front of her. A little time passed before she heard a familiar voice coming from behind her. 

“Did Ruby criticize your choice of dinner?”

Therese turned her head to see Carol, a loose cardigan wrapped around her, hair blowing in the wind. Did she ever not look beautiful? It was like the blonde didn’t even have to try. Looking at her, Therese felt both excitement and nervousness start to bubble within her. She saw that Carol’s eyeline was focused on her boxed salad and was reminded of what she was asked. 

“Yes,” Therese disclosed, “She was very kind about it though.”

“She’s the maternal figure of Nerinda, she watches out for all of us,” Carol explained with a small smile. 

There was a pause as Carol looked down briefly, “Are you settled in okay?”

“Yes,” Therese answered again, “The room is gorgeous. I feel absolutely spoiled.”

“Good, I’m glad,” Carol’s satisfaction showed. 

Another pause, the two maintained eye contact that felt too intimate considering that had just met. Carol’s hand moved to rub her neck, a gesture to conceal her apparent awkwardness that Therese found endearing. 

“Well, have a good night,” Carol started to turn. 

“Do you want to join me?” Therese almost blurted out. 

Carol turned back, “I, are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not,” Therese assured her, “I really only know you and Dannie here. It would be nice to have the company.”

This seemed to convince Carol, “Alright then.”

Therese moved over and Carol walked around and sat down next to her, tucking her long legs underneath her. They hadn’t been this close in proximity to each other yet, so there were things that Therese noticed about Carol. Her skin wasn’t completely alabaster, she had splashes of pale freckles over her face and hands. From a closer perspective, Therese also realized that the woman wore no makeup and she definitely didn’t need it to accentuate any of her facial features. The blue of her eyes and pink hue of her lips provided enough colour that gave her an inherent youthfulness. Therese couldn’t place how old the woman was, she looked older than Therese, but there was a timeless quality to her that was both mysterious and alluring. Another breeze passed through them and Therese picked up on the jasmine scented fragrance that clung Carol. When had she ever noticed such little things about a person? When had she ever cared at all about things like this? She looked away, afraid of being caught in the act. 

“I have some beer if you want one,” Therese reached into her bag. 

“Sure, thanks,” Carol took the bottle from her and popped the cap on the log behind them. 

“How long have you run the bed and breakfast?” Therese asked, internally scolding herself for starting off with such a mundane question. 

“It was my grandparent’s then my father’s so it’s been in the family for several years. It was mine after my father passed when I was sixteen,” Carol said plainly. 

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Carol’s eyes met hers and Therese knew that it wasn’t though. 

“What do you do back home?” Carol asked, changing the subject. 

“I’m a journalist. I write and take photographs for the New York Times.”

“Wow, very impressive,” Carol took a swig of her beer, “Was that always what you wanted to do?”

“Not really. I kind of just stumbled into it, but now I can’t picture doing anything else.”

“I can understand that,” Carol laughed softly, “If you told me when I was younger that at the age of thirty-six I’d still be living in my hometown and running my father’s bed and breakfast, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

Thirty-six, Therese repeated internally. Carol was ten years older than her. Why do you care? She asked herself harshly. 

“What did you want to do when you were younger?” Therese asked the other woman in turn.

“Oh I don’t know,” Carol said with a shake of her head, “I thought I would be a researcher or some sort of historian. I was always reading when I was younger, I still am. I never went to college though.”

“I didn’t either,” Therese said, “I couldn’t afford it.”

Carol took another sip of her beer, “So this… Richard. Is he your boyfriend?”

Therese was surprised to hear this, why did Carol want to know about whether she was in a relationship or not?

“Yeah,” she replied casually, “We’ve been together… four years now?”

Therese could have sworn she heard Carol’s breath hitch, “That’s a long time,” the blonde said. 

“It feels like a lot when I say it aloud. It hasn’t actually felt that long.”

“How did you meet?”

“Through friends. No crazy story.”

It was clear that Carol was holding back, she wanted to ask or know more, “Where is he right now, exactly?”

“He booked this trip for us,” Therese explained, “But he got offered this job overseas right before we left.”

“He’s a journalist too?”

Therese nodded. 

“Are you missing him?”

Therese deliberated, “No. I haven’t thought of him at all really. Or home.”

“I suppose it’s only your first day still,” Carol smiled playfully, “There’s still plenty of time for you to get tired of this town.”

“You think I’m going to get bored?”

“There’s few things here that you can’t get back in New York.”

You’re not in New York, is what Therese wanted to say, “I think there’s enough to keep me occupied.”

Carol accepted her defeat and quieted. The two sat in a comfortable silence, watching as the sun dipped down below the horizon.

“Will you tell me about your father?” Therese asked. 

Carol looked surprised, like no one had dared to ask the question before, “You want to know?”

“I want to know more about you,” Therese said honestly. 

If this statement affected Carol, it didn’t show. The blonde tucked some of her hair behind her ear and started to speak. 

“He was my best friend,” Carol said simply, “My mother died in childbirth, so he’s all I had. I grew up in that little house over there and I still live there now.”

Therese turned to see a charming, cottage like house in view behind them, just yards away from the bed and breakfast.

“He was a very quiet and gentle man. Never raised his voice, I don’t think I ever saw him get angry, he was very calm.”

Therese could see some of those characteristics in Carol. Very cool and even tempered. 

“He couldn’t give me a lot growing up, but he never made that known to me. He could make the most mundane thing magical and an adventure. He was an amazing father and I had a wonderful childhood,” Carol continued. 

Therese saw how Carol’s face changed when she talked about her father. There was a light in her eyes as well as another emotion, something more sorrowful. She seemed deep in her memories and nostalgia, it was as if she weren’t really there. 

“He wanted everything for me. He always talked about how he was going to make sure I went to college, he wanted me to leave Nerinda and have a bigger, fuller life somewhere else. I think deep down he wanted to leave too, but all his memories with my mother were here. I don’t think he had it in him to part with that.”

Therese was so engaged with what Carol was saying, she hung onto every word. Carol seemed to snap out of her trance and looked at Therese with a pitied expression. 

“Am I putting you to sleep?”

Therese shook her head, “No. Tell me more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But I can see us lost in the memory  
> August slipped away into a moment in time  
> 'Cause it was never mine  
> And I can see us twisted in bedsheets  
> August sipped away like a bottle of wine  
> 'Cause you were never mine."
> 
> \- "August" by Taylor Swift 
> 
> (the song that accurately embodies this story - which will become more evident later on)


	4. Say Yes

Therese Belivet had thoroughly and effectively surprised Carol. The young woman who at first appeared doe eyed and naive, turned out to have more confidence and guts than Carol previously believed. Carol actually found herself becoming more shy and bashful underneath Therese’s attentive gaze and obvious interest in her which was incredibly flattering. They’d only had a couple interactions, but Carol deeply craved more. The brunette remained in Carol’s thoughts consistently over the next few days. Carol’s insomnia wasn’t as pointless and random anymore, she found herself up in the early hours of the morning thinking solely about Therese. 

Carol couldn’t remember the last time she felt this affected by someone or by anything really. After her father had died, Carol had shut down emotionally in a way. She often felt that she was just floating, existing and not truly living. Her days were the same and passed by excruciatingly slowly. She never planned into the future, things just happened to her, she was complicit in what her life had become. Her curiosity about the world as well as herself had disappeared, it was like she decided one day that every question in the world had been answered, she had accepted that there was nothing else for her to discover. 

Therese had appeared out of nowhere and shaken this all up, however. The ball was in Carol’s court and it was up to her to decide whether she wanted to play or not. Sitting on the sidelines and watching was no longer an option. Carol was afraid to act, afraid to show her interest, but even more afraid of what would happen if she didn’t. Yes Therese was younger, had a boyfriend, lived across the country, there were many factors there to dissuade Carol. For some strange reason though, she didn’t care about any of them. All she could focus on was the budding… something between her and the other woman. She knew it wasn’t anything she’d experienced before, that this was special, different. 

It was nearing the end of week and Carol was walking around the breakfast room, ensuring that everything was running smoothly. The bed and breakfast rarely ever received any complaints or criticism, but Carol had a perfectionistic streak in her. She liked things done a certain way and tried her best to make her guests stay relaxing and pleasurable. She stopped at a couple of the tables where guests were eating their breakfast and checked in with them. 

“Everything’s wonderful, dear,” one of the guests said glowingly, “Stop worrying about us. You deserve to put your feet up and relax once in a while.”

Carol smiled politely, “That’s very kind. I’m not very good at relaxing, I’m afraid.”

“You’re so young,” the guest continued, “You should be out on the town having fun.”

Another guest chimed in, “A pretty thing like you should have countless dates lined up.”

“Oh shush! I’m sure she has a very handsome husband,” another said. 

“I don’t actually,” Carol confessed, both amused and embarrassed by what had erupted in the breakfast room.

There were several gasps that were almost comical in timing. 

“No way!”

“That can’t be possible.”

“Are the people here in Nerinda blind?!”

Carol laughed nervously and was suddenly made aware of Therese, who had just entered the room. She felt her breathing stop as her eyes landed on the younger woman. Everything else melted into the background. 

“What’s going on?” the brunette asked as she took in the flabbergasted expressions on several of the other guests. 

“The guests are concerned about the state of my social life,” Carol said lightly.

“Therese, did you know she wasn’t married? That face. Not married.”

Therese hid her laugher behind a hand, “No, I didn’t, but that’s okay. Tons of people aren’t married.”

Therese’s defending of Carol didn’t go unnoticed and seemed to tame the chatter and lively talk. Carol was relieved to have the attention off of her and turned to Therese.

“Your timing is impeccable,” she said quietly. 

Therese chuckled, “It looked like an intervention was happening when I walked in here.”

“They don’t mean any harm,” Carol brushed it off, “It was kind of funny actually.”

The brunette seemed to pick up on the lack of assurance in Carol’s comment, but refrained from comment. 

“Well I’m starved,” Therese said looking at the breakfast spread, “This looks great as always.”

“I’ll let you eat,” Carol said with a smile. 

She went back to her desk and took care of some emails and paperwork. She had a clear view of the breakfast room from her current vantage point and could see Therese sitting at one of the tables by the window. She found herself regularly looking up and glancing over at the brunette, almost impulsively, she couldn’t help herself. She felt compelled to go over, to strike up conversion or something. She didn’t care what she did, she just wanted to spend more time with the woman. 

By the time the brunette had finished her breakfast and got up to leave, Carol was scolding herself internally. Just say something, get over yourself, she repeated internally. Therese exited the breakfast room and walked across the lobby, past Carol’s desk. Get a grip Carol, come on, say something. Her own voice was loud and clear in her head. 

“Are you doing anything later?” she ended up blurting out.

Therese stopped walking and turned to face her, “Nothing in particular, why?”

Carol swallowed, “Would you like to do something?” 

Oh my god you sound like a teenager, she thought. 

Therese smiled, “Like what?”

She knows I’m nervous, she thinks it's funny, Carol figured. 

“Would you like to go for dinner?” she asked.

Dinner?! Really Carol? She’s going to think you’re asking her on a date! But isn’t that what you’re doing? Oh shut up. Her thoughts had a conversed with each other. 

“I’d love to,” Therese’s answer was immediate. 

“Oh, great,” Carol was taken aback by how easy that was. 

“I’ll see you later,” Therese winked and disappeared upstairs. 

The moment she was gone Carol wrung out her hands which were shaking uncontrollably. 

\- - - - 

That evening the two women set off into town. Carol would be lying if she said she didn’t spend about two hours trying to figure out what to wear and how to present herself. It was ironic because she considered herself to be fairly non-materialistic or caught up in her appearance and looks. Those two hours were mainly spent trying to put something together that looked like it was effortless and came together in a matter of minutes. She didn’t want Therese to be thrown off, to question why Carol was so dressed up or put together. While the younger woman seemed interested in getting to know her, Carol was unsure of her feelings and motives. She thought there was something strange that existed between them, but it could be completely one sided. Perhaps Therese was only interested in pursuing a friendship with her and Carol needed to be ready to accept that if it was the case. In the end, Carol had tied her unruly hair back into a low ponytail and donned a sage green dress that was short sleeved with buttons running down the length of it. It was a simple look and frankly, pretty similar to what she wore other days, but never mind. 

“Where should we go?” Therese asked, “You would know better than me.”

“I was thinking Tommy’s? You never get a bad meal there,” Carol replied.

Therese smiled, “Let’s do it.”

Every time Therese smiled her dimples showed,. which were a break in the otherwise striking and sometimes stony facade. From afar and on first impression, Therese had an intimidating and very self contained look. Her dark features gave her a serious persona and her eyes were always focused, like she was trying to figure something out or understand something. When she smiled though, this all melted away. She looked more youthful and carefree, she looked beautiful. Carol liked how her dark hair cascaded around her shoulders and the rust coloured jumpsuit she was wearing that brought out the green in her eyes. 

“What did you end up doing today?” Carol asked Therese.

“I poked around the stores a bit. Walked on the beach. It was a pretty good day.”

“Have you just been staying around here?”

“Yeah, it’s what I’m familiar with. Dannie gave off the impression that there wasn’t much more than this.”

“Oh there is. You just need to know where to look,” Carol’s eyes sparkled. 

“It doesn’t surprise me that you know all the hidden spots in this town.”

“Why?”

Therese looked directly at Carol, “You seem really observant. You pick up on things that others don't. Am I right?”

Carol felt herself blushing, “Kind of.”

“Thought so.”

They arrived at Tommy’s restaurant which was indeed right on the docks with Edison lights strung over the tables that were covered with red and white checkered tablecloths. It had a casual charm that was incredibly inviting, there was a reason why it was such a popular spot in Nerinda. 

“Carol Aird! It’s been ages!” Tommy said when they walked up to the entrance. 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” Carol raised her hands in defence. 

“Whatever happened to supporting your local businesses? You’ve become a hermit,” Tommy teased Carol, but his smile was easy.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” Carol gestured to Therese, “This is Therese, she’s visiting from New York.”

“The Big Apple eh? Bet you can’t get seafood like this there,” Tommy challenged. 

He showed the two women to a table outside and set a couple menus down in front of them, “The usual Carol?”

“Please.”

Therese glanced at the menu, “What’s your usual?”

“A plate of fresh oysters and the signature salad,” Tommy answered.

Therese closed her menu, “I’ll have the same.”

“Have you had oysters before?” Carol asked, “They’re not for everyone.”

“I like trying new things.”

Tommy collected the menus, “I’ll have your dinner out for you in a bit, ladies.”

Therese looked up at the lights and decorations, “This kind of reminds me of Brooklyn.”

“I’ve never been.”

“Have you travelled outside of Nerinda?”

Carol shook her head, “I haven’t been outside of Oregon.”

“You should come to New York sometime.”

Carol started to laugh and Therese looked at her with a funny expression, “Why are you laughing?”

“It just seems so impossible. Me being in New York,” Carol answered. 

“You should drive out,” Therese suggested, “Make a road trip of it.”

“That would be a long drive to do alone,” Carol was discouraged. 

An idea sparked in Therese’s eyes, “We could drive back together. I haven’t booked my return flight yet.”

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

Therese tilted her head, “Do you not want to come?”

Carol deliberated. She did want to go. What was stopping her?

“No… it’s not that.”

Therese leaned across the table, “Sometimes you just have to say yes. Everything starts to make sense after.”

Therese’s enthusiasm was infectious, “Okay. Yes. I want to go,” Carol declared.

Therese shook her head and laughed quietly, “Strange.”

“What’s strange?”

Therese’s eyes met hers, “You. You hardly know me, but you want to drive across the country with me. Why?”

The question was not laced with criticism, Therese seemed genuinely intrigued and Carol felt her pulse start to race. 

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I just feel a connection with you that I can’t explain. It’s like I know you from somewhere. I feel safe with you.”

Therese seemed to understand what she was trying to express, “I feel the same.”

A silence fell over them and Tommy returned with their meals. Therese eyed the oysters with a mixed expression of intrigue and nervousness that made Carol laugh. She squeezed some lemon onto one of her own and Therese mimicked her movements. 

“Are you scared?” Carol asked her. 

“Kind of,” Therese admitted, holding the oyster. 

“Do you trust me?”

Therese didn’t hesitate, “Yes.”

Carol raised her oyster as a salute then both women brought their oysters to their lips. Therese chewed thoughtfully then swallowed. Carol watched her expression expectantly. 

“So?”

Therese grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one who likes a more shy and reserved interpretation of Carol? Something about it is so endearing to me...
> 
> P.S The "Ratched" reference is entirely intentional ;)


	5. Do I Want to Know?

“I noticed you’ve been spending more time with Carol,” Dannie said.

The two were sitting across from each other at the cafe a couple days later. Therese took a sip of her coffee then set the mug down. 

“Keeping track of me are you Dannie?” Therese teased. 

“No, I’m just observant,” Dannie explained, “Also it’s hard to not notice things like that around here.”

“I suppose.”

“So…?”

“We’ve become…” Therese paused as she chose the right words, “...friendly. We’re friends.”

Dannie didn’t look completely convinced, “I see. Well that’s nice.” 

“Why do you want to know?” Therese was amused by Dannie’s behaviour.

“Carol’s family is one of the oldest here. Everyone knows her, she’s nice, but keeps to herself. Not the social type.”

“I’m not following.”

Dannie leaned back in his chair, “She doesn’t have a lot of friends. She’s not really close to anyone here except Abby Gerhard.”

“The woman who owns the pub?”

“Yeah. They became close after Carol’s father died. They went to high school together.”

Therese noticed the tension in Dannie’s face and body when he spoke about Carol and Abby together. Was there something further there?

“I get the feeling you’re not a fan of Abby,” Therese said plainly. 

“I’ve got no problem with her,” Dannie said truthfully, “I’ve just heard conflicting things around town.”

“About her?”

“About the two of them,” Dannie corrected her clearly. 

Therese was confused. It was like Dannie was speaking in riddles, the answer was underneath it all, but she couldn’t get to it. 

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this. Is it something I should be concerned with?”

“Maybe,” Dannie said vaguely, “It depends on what your motives are.”

Therese laughed harshly, “My motives?!”

“I’m not attacking you Therese, believe me,” Dannie lowered his voice, “What do you want? With Carol I mean.”

Therese stilled. Dannie’s question had forced her to confront her own feelings and motives, as he had said. What did she want? 

She swallowed and started to speak slowly, “I… I care about her.”

The sentence held more weight than it appeared and Dannie seemed to pick up on this, “How much do you want to know?”

Therese shook her head, “I’m not sure. Do I even want to know? What am I getting myself into?”

Dannie’s tone was serious, “I think you need to be sure first.”

“Sure of what?”

“You know.”

“No, I don’t. Can we stop with the riddles Dannie?”

“If this is worth it or not. If Carol is worth it.”

Therese sat back in her chair, “Geez, Dannie.”

The young man raised his hands in a gesture of concession, “I just thought you should know. For the record, I think you’re good for her. Better than Abby ever was.”

\- - - - 

Therese was left unsettled by her conversation with Dannie. What did he know? What did this town know about Carol and more importantly, her relationship with this Abby Gerhard? Was it something Therese needed to know? She passed the pub and could see Abby’s auburn coloured head through the window. She had yet to be properly introduced to the woman and now she wasn’t sure whether she was anticipating or dreading the interaction. In Therese’s eyes, Abby seemed far more mysterious than Carol who was made out to be so. 

She arrived back at the bed and breakfast to see Carol out on the front porch sitting at one of the tables with a pile of envelopes and letters. 

“Hi,” the blonde greeted her with a smile, “Want to help me?”

Therese sat down, “What do you want me to do?”

“If you put the letters in the envelopes and seal them I’ll sign the front. They’re all the same so don’t worry about keeping track.”

“Sounds easy,” Therese got to work. 

The two got into a rhythm quickly. Therese glanced over at Carol periodically and admired her unsurprisingly neat penmanship. She wrote in loose cursive, her hand and wrist moving elegantly. After a couple of glances Carol looked up and caught her looking. Therese smiled and the woman returned the gesture. 

“How’s your day been?” Carol asked. 

“Good, I just had a coffee with Dannie.”

“I’m glad you’re friends with him. He’s one of the good ones,” Carol observed. 

“What are you up to for the rest of the day?” Therese asked her, “More work?”

“I’m done after this, then I promised Abby I would go for a drink with her tonight.”

Therese stilled. Abby. 

“She’s your best friend right?” Therese asked in what she hoped was a casual voice. 

A small smile appeared across Carol’s face, “Yeah.”

“You should introduce me sometime,” Therese proposed, “I haven’t met her yet.”

It was Carol’s turn to still. Therese noticed a tension appear in her chest that quickly disappeared.

“Sure,” Carol replied, not quite meeting Therese’s eyes. 

“What’s she like?” Therese pressed on gently.

Carol swallowed and spoke slowly, “She’s… energetic. Very extroverted, always the life of the party. The opposite of me really.”

“You’ve known each other for a long time?”

“Since high school. It was after my father died that we.... we became close.”

Carol’s answers seemed to line up with what Dannie had told her, but Therese still felt like Carol was holding something back. She was nervous about how far to take this though, she didn’t want to make Carol uncomfortable or push too far. 

“Tell me about your friends back home,” Carol said. 

“They’re mostly all people I work with,” Therese explained, “That’s how I met Richard, we were friends first.”

The moment Therese said Richard’s name, she instantly regretted it. It was too late, however, Carol picked up on the comment immediately and an unrecognizable emotion passed through her blue eyes. 

“What changed?” the blonde asked after a moment’s silence, “When did you realize you had feelings for him?”

“He initiated it,” Therese said, “He asked me out and that was it. We’ve been together ever since.”

“It sounds like your relationship is uncomplicated, secure.”

Therese bit back a laugh, “I don’t know about that. I think it’s just been easy. It felt like what we should be doing.”

“Is it not what you want?”

Therese looked at Carol, “I’m not sure what I want anymore. Things have changed. We’ve both changed. Maybe this time apart this summer has revealed that even more so.”

Carol continued to address the envelopes, “Do you love him?” she asked almost nonchalantly. 

Did Therese’s answer matter to Carol? The blonde wasn’t even looking at her. Therese felt herself start to panic. 

“I can’t tell.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“What?”

Carol looked up, “Whether you love someone or not.”

“I don’t think it’s as simple as people make it out to be,” Therese pointed out. 

Carol hummed, her eyes losing focus, staring into something else. 

“Have you ever been in love?” Therese asked her. 

“No,” Carol answered definitively. 

“How do you know?” Therese challenged her. 

“I would know,” Carol explained matter of factly. 

“Would you though? If you’ve never experienced it. Maybe you have been in love and haven’t known,” Therese suggested. 

“Maybe you thought you were in love when you really weren’t,” Carol countered. 

Therese gasped. The two women fell silent and looked at each other. A flush crept up Carol’s neck. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not my place to be saying things like that,” Carol said. 

“It’s okay, I know it didn’t mean any harm. I want to hear what you think.”

“Why?”

“Because your opinion matters to me.”

\- - - - 

Later, Therese was in her room when she heard laughter and raised voices coming from outside. She looked out the window to see Carol with Abby outside her house a little further down the beach. Abby said something indistinct that made Carol laugh, a laugh that made her throw her head back. There was an obvious connection and sense of history between them that was effortless and comfortable. Therese couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy inside her as she watched the scene play out. 

It didn’t help that Abby Gerhard was absolutely gorgeous too. She had this thick luscious hair, full lips and a contagious smile. She was about the same height as Carol and had a feminine strength to her body. In a way, she was everything that Therese was secure about. Why would Carol be interested in her when she had someone like Abby in her life? Therese watched as Abby threw an arm around Carol’s shoulders and pulled her close. The two friends took off down the road and into town. 

Therese was certain now. This was worth it, Carol was worth it. She wanted to know.


	6. Mixed Signals

Carol’s day had started out pretty well. Maybe it was because of this that it had ended up so dreadfully, it was karma playing a game with her. The blonde lay in bed, with the feeling of guilt spreading throughout her entire body, making her feel sick and clammy. She wanted to cry, but all she really felt was angry and furious at herself and her own behaviour. How had she messed this up so horribly?

She thought back to only a few hours ago and wondered how it had all ended up in a complete disaster. She had foolishly thought at the beginning, that today was going to be one of the best for her in a while, it had begun on such a high.

She had approached Therese in the breakfast room that morning, head on, no nervousness this time. The brunette looked surprised, perhaps even more than Carol felt herself. 

“Do you have any plans today?” Carol asked her. 

There was a brief pause.

“No,” Therese had replied with a faint smile on her lips. 

“Good, I’m taking you somewhere,” Carol said, satisfied. 

“Are you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise. Be ready at ten.” Carol promptly turned and left the breakfast room, a huge smile on her face. 

A little while later, Therese met Carol outside of the bed and breakfast and the two set off on foot. It was a warm day and Carol tried to not draw attention to Therese’s exposed legs in the denim overalls she had on that were cut off mid thigh. The younger woman had her hair up, piled on top of her head and Carol liked the change, it showed off her face more which had started to get a bit of sun. She could see faint colour across Therese’s cheeks and forehead. 

“It definitely feels like summer now,” Therese pulled out her sunglasses from her bag, “It’s so nice to have the breeze coming off the ocean. In New York the heat just comes in thick waves, it’s horrible.”

“The summers are nice here. This is the time that tourists usually come, it gets pretty stormy during the fall and winter so it just rains a lot,” Carol said. 

“Oh I would love to see a storm up and close,” Therese said as she looked out at the ocean. 

“Well you might get one while you’re here, if it gets hot enough.”

They took a turn off the main road and onto a secluded trail into the woods. Suddenly, they were thrust into a world of green with soft ground beneath them. 

“This is the part where the young woman gets lured into a cabin by the serial killer and no one hears from her ever again…” Therese said playfully. 

Carol threw her head back and laughed, “Do I give off a serial killer vibe?”

“Isn’t it always the people you’d least expect?” Therese teased. 

“I guess you have a point there. Few people come up here too.”

Therese looked around, “Where are we headed exactly?”

“You don’t like surprises do you?” Carol raised an eyebrow at Therese. 

“Does anyone?” Therese laughed defensively, “I like being in control.”

“Well you have to adopt more of a laid back attitude if you are going to survive here,” Carol informed her with a smile. 

They continued on through the thick of leafy woods and fell into step easily beside each other. Soon enough, they broke through into a clearing that contained a small lagoon. The water was circled by moss covered rocks and there were countless flowering bushes around. The spot also had a great view of the beach and ocean down below. It was a hidden oasis that Carol had found years ago and where she came when she needed to be alone in complete silence. The place was her favorite spot in Nerinda and she was so excited to share it with Therese.

“This looks like something out of a painting,” Therese said with wide eyes. 

“I have to swear you to secrecy,” Carol explained playfully, “I don’t want the whole town finding this place.”

“I understand why,” Therese said as she started to look around, “Do you come here often?”

“When I can. It’s my place to think.”

Therese smiled, “Well I’m honoured that you brought me here.”

The brunette kneeled down and grazed the water with her hand. An idea formed in her eyes and she looked up at Carol, “Do you want to go for a swim?”

Carol froze, “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

“We don’t need bathing suits.”

Carol held her breath as Therese took off her overalls and the t-shirt she was wearing underneath. In only her bra and underwear, she stepped into the water and gracefully turned to swim on her back. 

“Are you coming in?” she called out to Carol. 

Carol nervously looked around then muttered, “What the hell.”

She let the dress she was wearing fall to the ground and pool around her feet. She was aware of the other woman’s eyes on her less covered form. She felt exposed and vulnerable in more ways than one. Therese’s smile, however, was all the encouragement and support she needed. Carol padded over to the water and got in, she immediately shuddered at the temperature, which was much colder than it appeared. 

“Therese, it’s freezing!”

The brunette laughed, “It’s not so bad after a while. Keep moving!”

Carol took her advice and took the opportunity to stretch her arms, she launched into a well executed breast stroke and reached Therese who was at the far side of the lagoon. 

“This is heavenly. Especially on this day,” Carol said. 

Carol turned and noticed the intense stare that she was on the other end of. She felt like she was going to be eaten alive. Therese’s green eyes were blown out and her pink lips were parted. 

“What is it?” Carol asked, self consciously. 

“Nothing,” Therese said quickly, “You just look nice, is all.”

“Nice? I probably look a fright. All sweaty from the walking,” Carol said dismissively. 

“No, not at all. You always look wonderful,” Therese said honestly. 

Carol was touched. She could hear her heart hammering. Therese was only inches away from her, she could hear the woman’s breathing. She could see the golden streaks in her eyes. Therese’s dark hair clung to her shoulders and Carol could see the definition in her collar bone just below the surface of the water. Taking the young woman in, Carol wouldn’t be surprised if her face mirrored the expression that Therese previously had. An overwhelming sensation took over her that she could only describe as being… hungry.

“You’re always beautiful,” she said softly, before she was able to stop herself. 

An emotion passed over Therese’s face that Carol wasn’t able to decipher. 

“Tell me something,” Therese said in an equally hushed tone.

“What?”

“A secret.”

“There’s only one dream I’ve had that I’ve actually remembered. I’ve been having it since I was a child.”

Therese’s eyes didn’t leave her face, “What is it?”

“I can’t describe it, it’s more of a feeling. Like I’m losing something.”

“Does it frighten you?”

“Yes.”

Carol felt Therese’s hand slide into hers and gasped. 

“It’s your turn, tell me something,” she urged. 

“What?”

“A realization.”

Therese didn’t hesitate, “I don’t want to be with Richard anymore.”

\- - - - 

Carol and Therese spent most of the day swimming and talking together. It was only when the sun started to disappear, that they finally dried off, got dressed and headed back into town. After saying goodnight to Therese and checking in with work things, Carol returned to her little house, closed the door behind her and sunk to the ground in pleasant exhaustion. Her hair was damp, her dress wrinkled and she couldn’t wipe off the smile that was plastered on her face. Today had been amazing. Carol couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy. Also she had gotten some of the confirmation she needed. Therese wasn’t interested in being with Richard, it seemed like she was interested in Carol. From how she was looking at her, the way they had held hands. It all pointed towards the obvious, Carol no longer felt like her feelings were one sided. Maybe there was an actual possibility of something happening between them. 

Carol was startled out of her reverie when she heard a rapid knocking at her door. She stood up and immediately pondered whether it was Therese on the other side. She flung the door open to be greeted by Abby, however, and had to bite back her disappointment. 

“I had the most shit day,” Abby said as she entered Carol’s home without invitation. 

For once, Carol wasn’t in the mood to listen to Abby rant for hours and eventually drink herself to unconsciousness. She started to formulate an excuse in her head as Abby started to ramble. 

“My shipment arrived late and the delivery person had the nerve to charge me even more?! For the inconvenience they caused me?!” Abby exclaimed.

“Abby…”

“-Then our deep fryer broke so we couldn’t serve fries and that was the only thing people wanted tonight apparently.”

“Abby…”

Abby turned to face Carol with a fierceness in her dark eyes. 

“Where were you today? I stopped by and your employees said you’d taken the rest of the day off. That’s so unlike you,” she said with an air of disappointment.

“I have a life outside my work, Abigail.”

“Haha, good one.”

Carol rubbed her temples, “Did you come here just to vent?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Abby fell silent and Carol picked up on what her best friend was insinuating.

“No, absolutely not,” Carol said firmly. 

“Come on, Carol.”

“This isn’t healthy, I told you already. I’m done and I mean it this time.”

Abby moved closer to Carol, “You’re making this into such a big deal. It’s harmless fun. A release. Doesn’t everyone need to let off some steam once in a while?”

Carol backed up towards the door, “You’re the only one who enjoys it. I always feel awful afterwards.”

“I’m the only one who enjoys it?” Abby repeated. 

Carol looked down and Abby eventually appeared in front of her. She felt a hand on her chin that guided her face to look up. 

“Last time I remembered, you were the one always begging for more,” Abby hummed, “Sends a bit of a mixed signal don’t you think?”

Carol’s mouth parted and before she was able to form any coherent thought, Abby had descended onto her. Warm lips covered hers and hot breath mixed with her own. Carol was pushed up against the door firmly and Abby’s body was pressed flush against hers. Abby’s hand slid underneath Carol’s dress and grabbed at the flesh of her thigh. Carol haphazardly threw an arm around Abby’s shoulders to anchor herself and buried her face in the woman’s neck. 

Any rational thinking on her part immediately disappeared, she was overcome by the distraction that Abby provided. The intimate attention and contact was something that she craved, as much as she tried to convince herself that she didn’t. She was lonely and this was mostly why this kept on happening. To Abby it was just sex, to Carol it was a desperate act to feel valued and wanted. 

In a matter of moments, Carol’s clothing was removed and she was laid out on her bed. Abby was everywhere, she could feel her touch on every inch of her skin. It was searing and intense, purely physical. Abby’s mouth found a place at Carol’s throat and bit into the skin there. At the same time, the woman’s hand moved between Carol’s legs and entered her in a fluid movement. An uncontrollable moan escaped Carol’s lips and she latched onto Abby, wrapping a leg around her waist. 

She was so caught up in riding her own high, that she paid no attention to the figure outside her window. If she’d only turned her head to look, she would have seen that Therese was outside. 

And she had seen everything.


	7. Walking on Eggshells

Therese returned to her room after her day with Carol with a sinking feeling of regret inside her, why hadn’t she kissed Carol? She had every opportunity to do so today during their time together and she knew she wanted to… so badly. Therese recalled when Carol had caught her looking intently and asked what it was. Therese hadn’t lied when she said that Carol looked nice, but what was really on her mind in that moment was how much she wanted to kiss the woman in front of her. Carol had been so honest and defenceless with her and Therese didn’t want to take advantage of that, but looking back on it now she wondered if she missed out, if the risk would have been worth it. 

Other than this realization, Therese couldn’t be happier. Today had been a big step in the right direction and helped to make Therese accept what she really wanted. She was confident now that these feelings inside her were indeed romantic feelings for Carol and now that she knew this, she wanted to act on them. She was being completely truthful when she had disclosed to Carol that she didn’t want to be with Richard anymore. She figured she hadn’t felt emotionally connected to him for a while and needed this trip, needed to meet Carol to realize that. When Therese had taken Carol's hand she could tell that the other woman was surprised, but she didn’t shy away from it. Therese had gotten the confirmation today that Carol wanted her too, she wasn’t alone in her feelings. 

While Therese was processing all of this, she walked over to her window and looked outside. Carol was home, she could tell by the light that was on inside the little house. Go to her, said a voice inside her head. You didn’t kiss her today, but you still can. Go to her. Therese’s heart suddenly started to race and she had flown from her room and down the stairs of the bed and breakfast in a matter of moments. She raced through the lobby, thankful that no one else was there and made her way outside and onto the beach. 

She made her way over to Carol’s house and raised her hand to knock on the door, but paused when she saw movement in the window. The glass wasn’t completely clear and covered in shards of sea glass, distorting the view. Therese took a step to the side and peered in, her curiosity getting the best of her. She eventually made out Carol, laid out on her bed, nude and partially covered by bedsheets. Therese felt like she was invading something private and started to look away, but that was when she saw another woman cover Carol’s body with her own. 

Abby. Abby Gerhard, who Dannie had so cryptically warned her about. 

Therese watched in horror as the other woman brought Carol pleasure that was undeniable by the expression on her face and reaction that her body gave. Therese felt nauseous, sick as she saw someone else shower Carol in intimate affection, someone that wasn’t her. Did Carol care about her at all? Had she imagined it, the signs, the looks, the touches. Was it all a figment of her own desire and want? Therese couldn’t watch anymore, she retreated from the window, back towards the bed and breakfast, with a lump in her throat and hot tears in her eyes. 

\- - - - 

When Therese woke up in the morning after a restless sleep, she got ready quickly and swiftly left the bed and breakfast. She passed Carol in the breakfast room who wasn’t made aware of her presence. She didn’t have the emotional capacity to face the woman after what she had seen last night, it hurt too much and felt raw within her. 

She ventured into town, grabbed a coffee and pastry from the cafe and sat by the docks, her legs dangling. The fresh air was very much welcomed, she needed the open air and space to think. If she was being transparent with herself, she didn’t fully know how to process what had transpired last night. She knew the rational thing would be to talk to Carol, the source herself and ask about her relationship with Abby. Carol would most likely tell Therese the truth, what more would she have to lose? Then Therese remembered how Carol had skirted around discussing Abby when she had come up in previous conversations, perhaps this aspect of her life was one that she kept hidden and secret for a reason. Therese wanted to be generous and open minded, but right now she felt blindsided and betrayed. Why would Carol lead her on, give her hope to eventually hurt her? How long had she been with Abby? Were they in a relationship? Was it just sex? Countless questions and scenarios swirled around in Therese’s head. 

“You’re up early.”

Therese turned to see Dannie standing behind her. 

“I didn’t sleep very well,” Therese offered as an explanation, “Want to sit?”

Dannie settled down beside her, “Everything okay?”

Therese looked down at her coffee cup. Perhaps Dannie would be a good sounding board, perhaps he could offer some more insight into Carol’s history with Abby. 

“I know,” she said after a moment’s silence, “I know about Carol and Abby.”

Dannie nodded thoughtfully, “How did you find out?”

Therese’s grip on her coffee tightened, “I saw them… last night. They were…”

Therese’s voice trailed off, but Dannie seemed to understand what she was trying to explain. 

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard to see,” he said sensitively. 

“I want to know everything now.”

“Therese…”

“No secrets Dannie. It’s all out in the open now, isn’t it?”

Dannie scratched the back of his head, “Have you talked to Carol about this yet?”

“No,” Therese shook her head, “I don’t think she knows I saw.”

Dannie looked hesitant, “I really think you should go to her first. She’s the person involved after all. I only know what I know because of gossip and rumour, it may not all be true.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Therese conceded, “I just feel so blindsided.”

Dannie tilted his head, “You really care about her, don’t you?”

Therese sighed, “I do. And I thought she cared about me too.”

“You don’t know the full story,” Dannie pointed out, “There’s probably more to this than it seems. I doubt she’s led you on all this time. What satisfaction would that give her?”

“I don’t know,” Therese agreed, “We just came back from this amazing day together and then I found out. I didn’t know how to process it, I still don’t.”

Dannie stood and brushed off his pants, “I think all the answers you want are ones you can only get from Carol. You can spend however long you want mulling about this and building scenarios in your mind, but it’s only going to get resolved if you actually talk to her.”

“I will. Thank you, Dannie.”

Dannie paused before he walked away, “For the record, Carol has been the happiest I’ve ever seen her since you came into town. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

\- - - - 

Therese spent most of the day loitering around town, keeping herself busy and building up the courage to face Carol. By the time evening came around, she caved and headed back towards the old building at the end of the beach. She passed Abby’s pub along the way, but luckily did not see the woman inside. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to stomach the sight after last night. After seeing Abby all over Carol’s nude and exposed form. 

Therese walked into the lobby to see Carol in her usual position at the front desk. The blonde looked up and greeted Therese with a sparkling smile that made her heart ache. She definitely didn’t see Therese outside last night. Therese approached the front desk all while controlling her breathing and thoughts. She didn’t want her emotions to get the better of her. 

“You’ve been a stranger all day,” Carol said warmly when Therese got closer, “I’m happy to see you. I missed you.”

You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you? Therese thought internally. 

Therese swallowed, “Can we go talk?”

Carol’s pale brow furrowed slightly, “Alright.”

The two walked outside in silence and onto the beach. The sun was low and cast a purplish hue across them. It was a beautiful scene that was serving as a backdrop for what was to be a difficult and most likely, painful conversation. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Carol eventually asked. 

Looking at the other woman’s face, was actually killing Therese. Carol’s eyes were impossibly blue and wide, unsure and hesitant. 

“Carol, I-” 

Therese’s voice broke instantly and she felt a lump form in her throat. Before she could help herself, a couple tears slipped down onto her cheeks. 

Carol looked shattered and moved closer to her, “Therese, what happened?”

Therese caught her breath, “I saw you last night,” she blurted out.

Carol became pale. The breeze off the ocean passed through her hair, but the woman was completely still otherwise, frozen in fear and what looked to be… guilt?

“I saw you with her,” Therese continued, “With Abby.”

“Therese, I can explain-” Carol started to say.

“-Can you?” Therese cut across her.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Do you understand how it looks, Carol?”

“Therese…”

“It makes me look like a fool,” Therese continued, “It makes me question everything.”

“Therese…” Carol pleaded. 

“Do you care about me at all? Or is this just a game to you?” Therese asked her, “A meaningless summer fling to keep you preoccupied.”

Carol’s eyes were ablaze, “That’s not fair.”

Therese knew she’d let her emotions get the best of her, but now that the floodgates were open she couldn’t seem to stop. 

“I gave you the opportunity to be honest about you and Abby and you lied. Bypassed it completely.”

“We’ve only known each other a couple weeks, that wasn’t something I was ready to tell you yet,” Carol explained. 

“When was it supposed to come up then?” Therese was frustrated, “After I’d already fallen for you?”

Carol’s hand found Therese’s wrist, “Therese listen to me, you’re not listening to me.”

The other woman’s touch stung Therese, it was something that she previously would have taken pleasure in and now it felt like a pitiful condolence. Therese’s gaze moved from Carol’s hand on her to the woman’s face. 

“It doesn’t mean anything to me,” Carol explained, “It never did.”

“How can I know that?”

“You can’t,” Carol shook her head, “You have to trust me.”

“Does she love you?” Therese asked. 

Carol’s face was impassive, “No.”

“How can you be sure?”

“It was never about that. It was just… sex. It’s always been a physical thing.”

Therese could see that it pained Carol to say the words. 

“Do you love her?” 

Therese’s question hit Carol like a gust of wind. The blonde looked gobsmacked. 

“No. Therese, no.”

“It’s not an outrageous question, is it?”

Carol’s grip tightened, “Therese, I care about you. You’re the one I want.”

Therese’s eyes burned, “It’s a funny way to show it, don’t you think?”

She retracted her arm from Carol’s grasp and ran further down the beach. The blonde called after her, but the words soon disappeared underneath the sound of the wind. Therese thought speaking to Carol would solve everything, but she felt even worse. And to top it off, she realized that her feelings had intensified, that was why it hurt so much. She wanted Carol too and wasn’t sure if that was enough anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was overwhelmed by the response and amount of comments on the last chapter, I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying the story :)


	8. Stay With Me?

Overnight the clouds rolled in and the storm Therese had wanted seemed to be on its way. Carol woke up to grey skies and a sharp wind that matched how she felt inside. She knew that Therese would eventually find out about her and Abby, or that she would have to tell her, but she didn’t expect it all to happen how it did yesterday. She didn’t expect to see Therese at the smallest she had ever been, with tears streaming down her face. She didn’t expect the aching feeling within her as she realized how much she had messed up, how much she truly cared for the younger woman. When Carol woke the next morning she half hoped that it had all been a dream, a product of her deepest insecurities and fears, but this was not so. 

Carol had felt guilty and disgusted with herself after having sex with Abby, but those feelings were only magnified now after seeing how much her actions had impacted Therese. The young woman wasn’t nearly as impenetrable and independent as she appeared to be. Therese had been vulnerable with Carol and was now probably terrified that she’d made the wrong choice. That Carol was the wrong choice, or that was how it seemed at least. Carol also knew that her attempt to console the other woman was poor, what Therese had said was right. If Carol truly cared about her, why was she still entertaining anything with Abby? What about Abby was she so attached to, what was she refusing to let go?

After Carol had gotten ready and left her little cottage, the rain started and gave the impression it wouldn’t be letting up at all today. She knew that she would have to get some things in order to ensure that her guests were cozy and comfortable in their rooms during the storm that was to inevitably come. Carol got to work stocking all the rooms with extra blankets, matches and wood for fireplaces, kettles and packets of tea as well as several books and newspapers for reading material. Whether these things were used by the guests or not, Carol didn’t care, but just hoped that the thought would be appreciated. While her business was one that she had inherited involuntarily, she did take pride in her work and wanted to be the best hostess for her customers as possible. 

During Carol’s morning of chores, she didn’t pass by Therese and was both relieved and disheartened. She wouldn’t be surprised if the young woman was avoiding her after their inconclusive conversation last evening. She wanted to fix what had transpired between them, but wasn’t sure where to start. She wasn’t sure what she needed to do to show Therese that she cared about her truly and deeply. 

In the afternoon Carol headed into town and stocked up on some groceries for herself, seeing as she would most likely be rained in tonight. 

“Try and stay dry tonight, Carol,” Ruby said to her as she was checking out. 

“I’m going to try my best,” Carol craned her head and looked out the window, “Oh no, I think it’s already begun.”

Ruby matched Carol’s eye line to see that the wind had picked up and the rain had started to fall. 

“Our first storm of the summer. Rather early isn’t it?” Ruby observed. 

Carol thought about how symbolic the change of weather was in relation to her personal life, “Maybe not. The timing almost feels intentional.”

“A sign?” Ruby suggested. 

“Yes, a sign,” Carol gathered her bags, “Thanks, Ruby. Get home safe, okay?”

“You too, dear.”

Carol exited the grocery store and held an arm over her head as she made her way through the streets. She had just reached where the stone streets turned into a dirt road along the beach, when she heard a voice behind her. 

“Hey! Carol! Wait up!”

Carol turned to see Dannie emerge from between the raindrops. She wasn’t sure whether to greet the young man as a friend or foe. She knew that he had become close with Therese and didn’t know what he had been told in regards to their situation. 

“Hi Dannie, how are you?” she asked, hoping she didn’t look as nervous as she felt. 

“I’m well. I won’t keep you long don’t worry. It looks like the skies are going to keep opening up.”

Carol found it difficult to keep her eyes open, “Did you have something to tell me?”

“Yes, it’s about Therese.”

Carol felt her hands start to shake, “What about Therese?” she feigned blissful ignorance.

Dannie cocked his head, “That girl really cares about you,” he stated simply. 

“I-”

“-And I think if you don’t reciprocate sometime soon, she will move on.” 

Carol blinked rapidly, “Is that a warning?”

Dannie waved his hand, “Do with it whatever you want, I just thought you should know.”

“What has she said to you?”

“I really hate playing messenger.”

“Dannie…”

“She doesn’t have to say anything explicitly or constantly. It’s all over her face.”

“What?”

Dannie shook his head, “This look. This look she has whenever she talks about you.”

“I-”

“Now go get home! Or you and your groceries will be completely soaked,” Dannie said with a smile. 

He dashed off and Carol turned, jogging the rest of the way to her home. She made it inside, stripped and began to wring her clothes out in the sink. It was after she had gotten into a dry pair of clothes and put the groceries away that she heard the thunder. Carol wasn’t scared of storms having grown up with them, they were a common occurrence. She knew that all of her guests, however, didn’t necessarily fare the same as her. She hoped they weren’t nervous or scared, that they were comfortable in their rooms and not consumed by worry. 

She then thought of Therese and hoped the young woman was sitting by her window, taking in the sight of the captivating storm that she had hoped to see. Carol felt a pain of guilt inside her at the missed opportunity. They could have been together right now, experiencing this together, but Carol knew it was too soon. That Therese likely needed her space to think. 

Carol’s phone rang nearby and she walked over to see Abby’s name show up across the screen. She moved to answer it, hesitated, then left it to continue ringing. She didn’t want to talk to Abby, or be with her right now. All she could think about, all she wanted to think about, was Therese. 

It was only a few moments later when Carol heard lightning and the lights went out in her home. She immediately looked out the window and saw that power had gone out at the bed and breakfast and what looked to be, the entire town. 

“Fuck,” she muttered to herself.

She scrambled around to find a coat and a flashlight then walked the few steps to the bed and breakfast. She was greeted by several of her staff members and a couple guests when she entered, all with countless questions and concerns. 

“I’m so sorry for the inconvenience everybody, we’ll come by all the rooms to make sure everyone has several flashlights and plenty of batteries.”

Carol got all of her staff to mill around and gave them all instructions on what to do next.

“We just need to make sure everyone is comfortable and has some sort of light. That’s all we’ll be able to do until the electrician sorts everything out,” she said. 

“Answer any and all questions. Offer what you can. I know this is normal for us, but it can be scary for those who aren’t used to power outages, especially in a place they’re unfamiliar with,” she continued.

Everyone agreed and set off in separate directions to deal with different problems. Carol overseed everything for the next hour or so, then when everyone was settled down again she visited each and every room. She had left one room until last, purposely, avoiding it for as long as possible. When she had finished her rounds and made sure everything was managed, she headed over to the last room, Therese’s room. She arrived in front of the door and took a deep breath before knocking. 

The door opened in a matter of seconds and Carol was greeted by Therese, dressed for bed in cotton shorts and a large crewneck, her hair tied up in a knot on top of her head. Her green eyes widened when she realized it was Carol on the other side. An awkward silence fell between them, that Therese eventually broke.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Carol repeated, “I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay with your room. That you were warm and had a flashlight and some blankets.”

“I do,” Therese gestured behind her, “Your staff were very considerate.”

Therese looked down and Carol found herself feeling similarly to yesterday. She wanted to embrace the woman, to tell her that she had made a mistake, but she felt rooted to the spot. She could tell how much Therese was hurting, how uncomfortable this interaction probably was for her so soon after yesterday’s conversation. 

“Are you okay?” Carol asked her. 

“I’m fine. I have an amazing view of the storm, I’m so glad I got to see it.”

Another silence. The small talk was painful, even by usual standards of small talk. There was so much both women wanted to express that remained unsaid. 

“Do you want me to light your fire?” Carol offered. 

Therese hesitated then came to a decision, “Sure. That sounds nice.”

The brunette stood aside and Carol walked into her room. She got some wood out of the basket by the stone fireplace and arranged them on the hearth. She then took a few pages from a nearby newspaper, rolled them up and then tucked them underneath the logs in several areas. She struck a match and lit the several pieces of newspaper to get the fire going. She didn’t turn, but knew that Therese was watching quietly and attentively behind her. 

Carol brushed her hands off on her lap and stood up, “There you go. That should go for a while.”

“Thank you,” Therese said, “I’ve never lit a fire, so I didn’t even think about trying.”

“Can I do anything else for you?”

“No, this is great. Thanks.”

Carol left Therese’s room feeling rather unsatisfied and confused. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Nothing official had happened yet between them, but Carol felt like she was going through some strange breakup. It felt like something was ending before it had even begun. 

She remained downstairs, doing work quietly at her desk with an oil lamp as her light source. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she suddenly heard delicate footsteps on the stairs and looked up to see Therese coming towards her. 

“Is everything okay?” Carol asked. 

“Can I ask you something?” Therese looked nervous. 

“Of course.”

Therese’s eyes met hers, “Stay with me?”

Carol nodded and followed Therese back up to her room with her lamp. Inside the room the fire had burned down to very faint embers. Therese got underneath the covers and Carol blew out her lamp, cloaking the room in darkness. Carol hesitated then got into bed next to Therese. She threw her side of the duvet over herself and laid down, unsure of how to position her body and how close she should be to Therese. 

Her concerns were answered, however, when she felt two slender arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer. Therese laid her head gently across Carol’s chest and Carol felt her body open up, she felt herself actually breathe. 

“Is this okay?” Therese whispered. 

“Yes,” Carol murmured, “It’s more than okay.”

Carol heard Therese take a shaky breath, “I didn’t want to be alone tonight.”

Carol paused, “Therese… I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Therese’s voice was deadly quiet, “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, Carol.”

“Goodnight, Therese.”


	9. What Are You Saying?

When Therese woke in the morning she was immediately made aware of two things. One, the overhead lights were on, the power had been restored overnight. Two, she wasn’t alone, Carol was beside her. This was the most pleasant of surprises and Therese found herself recalling what happened last night to lead to this moment. Despite what had transpired between them and the hurt that Therese was still feeling, she was beyond elated to see the blonde next to her, their bodies gently wrapped up together. Carol’s breathing was quietly reassuring and her skin was soft and warm, she was like a wonderful dream encapsulated in a human being. 

Therese was about to nestle back into the woman when she started to murmur and move. The words were incoherent, but the body language suggested distress. Therese remembered what Carol had said at the lagoon, the dream she continued to have, or more accurately, the nightmare. She wasn’t sure how to act in the moment, whether she should wake Carol up or try to console her. All she knew was seeing Carol in a state of pain, whether it be unconscious or not, troubled her immensely. Therese’s hands found their way into Carol’s and squeezed in what she hoped was a grounding act of contact. 

“It’s okay, Carol,” she murmured, “I’m here. You’re not alone.”

Carol stirred for a couple moments longer then her slender hand reached out and grabbed Therese’s wrist. The blue eyes were open and awake, but with a cloudy film over them that suggested she was still partially within her dream. The blonde didn’t speak for several seconds, clearly in a state of confusion. 

“Are you okay, Carol?” Therese asked quietly. 

Therese’s words seemed to snap the blonde out of her reverie. The woman’s grip on Therese’s wrist loosened, but she did not remove her hand. Carol sat up next to Therese. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” Carol said, “Bad dream.”

“The same one?”

“Yes, but it’s changed,” Carol furrowed her brow, “I saw someone. Before, I was just running after nothing.”

“Who?”

Carol paused and Therese seemed to fill in the blanks, “Was it Abby?”

Carol’s eyes were sorrowful, “Therese…”

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“I… yes.”

Therese’s previous frustration and pain had returned. She looked down when she spoke next. 

“What… what is between you and Abby? You said it was just sex, but it seems like there’s more.”

Carol looked terrified, “Therese…”

“Please answer me, Carol.”

“I can’t really explain it.”

“Will you try?” Therese asked, “For me?”

The blonde took a long, shaky breath. 

“She’s been the only real friend I’ve ever had,” Carol started, “She was there for me when my father died. I guess she’s one of the few people I’ve been able to trust, to be comfortable with. I was really emotionally dependent on her at the beginning and I think I still am. I think she’s gotten used to being needed by me and I’ve gotten used to thinking I can’t survive without her.”  
“That doesn’t sound very healthy,” Therese said gently, “How does she treat you?”

“She’s very hot and cold. She can be very possessive, but also very indifferent to me, like she doesn’t really care. She entertains many relationships with other people, but gets angry when I give anyone besides her more attention.”

“Carol…”

“I know, I know,” Carol shook her head, “It’s very toxic, I know that. But it’s easier said than done to walk away from something like that. Especially with our history, it makes me feel like I’m losing something, somebody.”

“I guess that connects to your dream,” Therese observed, “Maybe it’s telling you that you need to let go, but you aren’t ready yet.”

Carol’s eyes were wide, “I never thought it was about that. I’ve had it since I was child, I always thought it was about my father.”

Therese shrugged, “Maybe it changes depending on what’s going on in your life.”

“I’ve never known anything else but my relationship with Abby, really. I didn’t have other examples to prove to me that what we have isn’t healthy.”

Therese removed her hand from Carol’s grasp, “I didn’t know what this was before. This… thing between us. It was always different with you from the beginning. I know now, I have feelings for you Carol. I want you, but not if you are already committed to someone else.”

Carol’s face was impassive, “What are you saying?”

“I’m not one for ultimatums,” Therese explained, “It’s your life and choice at the end of the day, but I want you to know where I stand. I’m not suggesting that you remove her completely from your life, but I think there needs to be boundaries established.”

“I don’t know how to do that, how I’m supposed to do that.”

Therese looked Carol in the eye, “On the beach you said I was the one you wanted. Is that still true?”

Carol exhaled, “Of course it is.”

“Do I have any reason to hope? To wait? I’m scared we’re going to keep running in circles.”

“I just need time,” Carol declared, but she appeared unsure. 

“Okay.”

The two women felt silent. 

“What are we supposed to do in the meantime?” Therese asked. 

Carol looked confused, “What do you mean?”

“Should we not talk? Give each other space? Should we keep spending time together?” Therese posed several questions. 

“I don’t want to do that,” Carol said quickly, “I don’t want to become strangers again.”

Therese tried to hide her relief, “Okay.”

Carol glanced at the clock on the nightstand table, “I should probably go make sure everything is okay downstairs. I didn’t even realize the power came back on.”

“Yeah, yeah go ahead.”

Both women seemed to realize that they had actually fallen asleep in the same bed together last night, reinstating a sense of endearing awkwardness. Carol had gotten into bed in her clothes from yesterday which were wrinkled and rumpled. 

“I feel strange, like I shouldn’t go,” Carol looked conflicted. 

“It’s fine I promise, we’ll figure it out,” Therese reassured her, “You have a bed and breakfast to run.”

This conjured a small smile in Carol who sat up and fixed her clothing, “I’ll see you later?”

“I’ll see you later.”

The blonde slipped out the door and left Therese alone in her room. 

\- - - - 

Later that day, Therese was running a couple chores in town. She caught up with Dannie and privately filled him in on the events of last night. She was pleasantly surprised by how excited the young man appeared, he really seemed to be rooting for her and Carol to be together, for whatever reason. 

“This is all great news, Therese,” he had said to her. 

“It is, but it also isn’t. She said she needed time, she doesn’t seem to be in a rush to talk to Abby,” Therese said defeatedly.

“I think you need to think positively. There are tons of really good signs. At least you two aren’t skirting around it anymore,” Dannie pointed out. 

“Why are you so invested in this?” Therese asked with a smile, “You’re not going to run a column in your paper about this are you? Breaking news, bed and breakfast owner gets involved with the new girl.”

Dannie laughed, “No, my paper is definitely not a gossip rag. I just like to see things work out. For some reason I feel like this has been a long time coming.”

“I’m not following.”

“You seem like just what this town needs. Someone to shake it up a bit, especially Carol.”

“I think you give me too much credit,” Therese said through a chuckle, “I’m just a person.”

“A person who is nothing like the people in this town. You look at things differently.”

“Well, I’ll take your word for it,” Therese said, “I should get going.”

“See you around, Belivet.”

She was just exiting the building that served as the headquarters of Dannie’s newspaper when she was ambushed by Abby Gerhard. This was Therese’s first time seeing the woman up close and in person. She was tall like Carol, but her face lacked warmth and kindness. Her looks were severe in an attractive, but also intimidating way. Her auburn hair fell to her shoulders in a natural wave and her eyes were dark. Therese felt like she was being cornered by someone in New York, not someone from sleepy Nerinda. Abby Gerhard looked and acted nothing like the people around here.

“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced, I’m Abby Gerhard,” the other woman said without any trace of friendliness. 

“Therese Belivet.”

“Such an odd name.”

“I think that’s subjective.”

Abby’s brow narrowed, “I understand that you’ve been spending a lot of time with Carol recently.”  
Therese held her ground, “Yes, I have. Why is that a concern of yours?”

“Anything to do with Carol is a concern of mine.”

“I didn’t realize she was your property,” Therese replied.

A fire lit within Abby’s eyes, “Don’t you dare, you know nothing about my relationship with Carol.”

“I know enough,” Therese walked up closer to Abby, “She’s scared of you, you know?”

A sharp laugh escaped Abby’s lips, “You’re ridiculous.”

“You can’t throw a person around and manipulate them emotionally and expect them to stick around forever.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No, it’s some advice. If you want Carol in your life, you should start treating her better.”

“Oh, I see,” Abby crossed her arms, “You’ve been feeding lies and suggestions into her ear.”

“I haven’t. She’s an adult, she can make her own decisions. I don’t try to control her, unlike you,” Therese said flatly. 

“You know, you’ve got some fucking nerve,” Abby almost spat the words out, “Who do you think you are? A wannabe journalist from New York coming in here and thinking you can take whatever you want?”

“I’m not taking anything,” Therese corrected her, “I didn’t expect to meet Carol, or to have feelings for her. It just happened. Also it’s not one sided.”

“Carol doesn’t know what she wants,” Abby said dismissively, “She never has. That’s why she has me to guide her.”

“People like you don’t survive in the city,” Therese said, “Others would smell your bullshit from miles away and wouldn’t even entertain it.”

“Say what you want Therese, I’m not backing down. I’m not letting Carol go.”

“Well that’s where you don’t understand,” Therese said, “It’s not your choice. It’s Carol’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therese has left the ball in Carol's court. What do you think/hope will happen next?


	10. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've all been so patient. Here is the chapter and the moment in this story I think you have been waiting for...

It was a few days later when Carol realized no matter how hard she tried, she could not avoid Abby. Nerinda was too small and the woman she considered to be her best friend was too demanding to allow Carol the space and quiet she needed to think, to deliberate on her next actions. 

Carol was having a quiet afternoon, tidying up around her home when the knocking started. At first, she was surprised that Abby bothered knocking at all, she usually just let herself in unannounced. Some may question how Carol knew that it was Abby on the other side, couldn’t it have been Therese? Or somebody else? No, Carol was absolutely certain it was Abby, because the woman knocked like she had the intention to break Carol’s home into pieces. 

Carol spent the few precious moments she had to gather herself before crossing the space and opening the door. The moment it was open, Abby flew through, like a whirlwind. When Carol turned she was confronted by the innate anger and hurt that covered Abby’s face and resided within her body language. Carol couldn’t recall the last time she had seen the woman this… furious. 

“Abby…”

The other woman cut across her, “It’s been days. Days, Carol. And I’ve heard nothing.”

Carol stepped closer, “Abby…”

“How long did you think you could get away with avoiding me? Actually why are you avoiding me? That’s what I should be asking.”

“Abby, just calm down. Please,” Carol pleaded. 

“Why should I calm down? My best friend of how many years decides to ghost me out of the blue and I should just accept it?”

Abby’s eyes were ablaze, her chest was heaving. Carol wasn’t sure whether she felt guilty for causing the reaction or just scared. 

“I just needed some time,” Carol said at last. 

“For what?”

Carol was growing frustrated, “To think, Abby! To think! God you suffocate me sometimes!”

Abby grew dangerously still. She was taken aback by Carol’s behaviour. Carol was always level headed and cool, she rarely raised her voice or got angry and definitely not with Abby. 

“This is all about her, isn’t it?” Abby asked quietly. 

“Who?”

“The new girl. Therese Belivet. Who the hell is she? What has she done to you?”

“You need to calm down, Abby. Why do you care about Therese?”

“Because she obviously cares about you,” Abby explained, “That… that girl fucking threatened me the other day.”

Carol stared at her friend in disbelief, “I doubt that. Therese is one of the most grounded people I’ve met.”

Abby started to laugh, “Oh my god, you’re talking about her like you actually know her.”

“I do know her.”

“No you don’t!” Abby protested, “She’s been here for barely a month!”

“I’m not going to prove myself to you, Abby,” Carol insisted, “Just leave her alone. She didn’t do anything to you.”

“She stole my best friend,” Abby said bitterly, “She turned you against me.”

“You call me your best friend, but you don’t even treat me like one,” Carol said, “You talk to me when you choose, when it’s convenient to you. We sleep together sporadically and you say it means nothing, but I know it doesn’t.”

Abby looked like she had been slapped across the face, “You’re delusional. You’ve made me into a villain. I don’t have feelings for you, Carol. Sex is sex sometimes okay?”

Carol moved closer to Abby, “So you’re going to tell me right now, to my face, that you don’t have any feelings for me at all? That this enormous, inappropriate reaction of yours isn’t fuelled by something more?”

Abby didn’t waver, “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m going to tell you. This is all in your head Carol.”

Carol swallowed, “Then I guess you won’t mind when I tell you that I have feelings for Therese. I want to be with her and she feels the same. As my friend you won’t begrudge me that, will you?”

Several emotions passed over Abby’s face, but they were gone in moments and indecipherable. Carol couldn’t figure out whether she had struck a nerve or not. For once, she wanted everything out in the open. The two of them were sitting on so much that they never discussed. She’d had her suspicions about Abby’s intentions for years now, but she didn’t know how to address them. Looking at Abby now though, Carol was fairly certain that her assumptions were correct. Abby did have feelings for her whether she was aware of them or not. And now she was forced to confront them once and for all. 

“You have feelings for her?” Abby asked, like the words pained her to say. 

“Yes.”

Abby appeared speechless for a moment, then silently, moved around Carol and left through the door without another word. Carol was left alone, unsure whether to feel relieved or confused. 

There was one thing she was certain of, however. She had done it. She had stood up for herself once and not allowed herself to be manipulated or put down. She’d done something purely for herself. And now all she wanted was to find Therese. To tell her, to be with her. 

\- - - - 

Carol hastily composed herself, ran out of her cottage and towards the bed and breakfast. She checked the sitting room, the dining room, but Therese wasn’t there. She didn’t answer when Carol knocked on her door either. She tried in town, checked to see if she was with Dannie or in one of the restaurants. She ran down to the docks, but nothing. About an hour had passed and Carol had checked almost everywhere, there were no other options, this was Nerinda after all. She had started to feel a pain of worry, had Therese left? Then she realized there was one place in the town she had yet to visit. 

A permanent smile formed across Carol’s lips as she flew through the forest towards the hidden lagoon and hopefully, Therese. She felt a buoyancy, a lightness and freeness within her that hadn’t had for years. Or had she ever felt this way? She had a newfound sense of hope within her and eagerness that she was scared she had lost. All she wanted was to be with the young woman, to hold her, to tell her that she was hers, completely. 

Carol broke through the brush and her hunch proved to be true, Therese was there. She was sitting at the edge of the water, her calves submerged in the water, legs kicking gently. The brunette was looking intently at the surface of the water and did not notice Carol at first, she was focused and still. When she did look up, however, the tension between the two of them was immediately ignited. It was palpable and energetic and exciting. 

“Hi,” Therese’s voice was impossibly quiet and small. 

“I found you,” Carol’s relief was evident. 

Therese stood and Carol flew over to her. Her hands found the other woman’s face and rested there in a tender hold. Therese closed the gap between them, their bodies brushing up against each other. This was the closest they had ever been together and it felt good and right, yet incredibly thrilling. 

“I told her, I told her everything,” Carol said, breathless after all the running. 

“You did?” Therese looked hopeful, “How did she take it?”

“That doesn’t matter. None of that matters anymore. All I want is this. Us. You,” Carol replied meaningfully. 

Therese looked overwhelmed. She held onto Carol’s wrists, “Carol.. I…”

“What is it?” Carol’s voice was soft, patient. 

Therese swallowed deeply, “I want…”

The younger woman was clearly at a loss for words. Carol stroked her cheekbone gently with her thumb. She could hear her own heartbeat, and possibly Therese’s, loud and clear in her ears. 

“What do you want Therese?” Carol asked her, “Ask me, tell me.”

Therese’s eyes locked with hers. They were clear and confident. 

“Kiss me,” she breathed. 

Carol’s eyes widened. She felt rooted to the spot. A ringing started in her ears that she wasn’t sure was real. A beautiful flush appeared across Therese’s cheeks and her lips were parted. Carol could almost taste her breath. 

“I want you to kiss me, Carol.”

Carol didn’t hesitate this time. She moved in and bridged the remaining space between them, her lips brushing over Therese’s. Therese’s arms looped around Carol’s neck and she reached up to reciprocate the kiss. The other woman’s lips were impossibly soft and Carol melted into the touch, she pulled Therese as close to her as possible to deepen the contact. Therese made a gleeful and content sound at the back of her throat that filled Carol’s stomach with delight. It was a first, uncharted waters for them, but it somehow felt familiar and if it was supposed to be. It was all consuming and heart racing and Carol never wanted it to stop. 

“Carol,” Therese hummed against her lips, “I’ve wanted this… I’ve wanted you…”

“Me too darling,” Carol breathed the words into Therese’s mouth “Christ you feel amazing. You taste amazing.”

“Don’t stop…”

“...I’m not planning to.”

“Oh god…”

Carol abandoned Therese’s lips and started to leave kisses all over her face and neck. The brunette started to giggle which made Carol smile. 

“What’s so funny?” she asked teasingly, followed by a well placed kiss behind Therese’s ear. 

Therese continued to giggle and Carol couldn’t help but be amused. 

“You’re not going to tell me? I have my methods you know,” Carol snuck a hand down to Therese’s waist and proceeded to tickle her. 

The giggles quickly turned into laughter and Therese pressed her face into Carol’s neck, “Stop! Stop! I can’t breathe!”

Carol pressed her mouth to Therese’s ear, “Well what is it then? I’m curious.”

“Nothing,” Therese said through her last laughs, “I just never thought this would happen.”

“Mmmm.”

Therese laced her fingers through Carol’s hair and pressed her forehead against hers, “I thought I was headed to a small coastal town for vacation. To unplug, get away. I didn’t think I would find you. This feels like something out of a story, out of a dream.”

“It’s happening, Therese. Right now, you and me. This is real.”

Therese smiled wide, “Good.”

Carol’s eyes glazed over and Therese looked at her quizzically, “What are you thinking?”

“Just that I’m happy,” Carol responded, “That’s the only word I have to describe this.”

Therese pulled Carol into another kiss. The two women were completely wrapped up in each other, in their own little world.


	11. Let's Restart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers - you were HOT on my scent last chapter, I cannot get anything past your attentive eye and I’m not sure whether to feel honoured or defeated. 
> 
> You were right in assuming that Abby is not going to slip away easily into the background, but that is all I will say for now. 
> 
> I can tell you this, however: enjoy the romance for these next chapters and try your best not to worry about what’s to come (if possible).

Therese and Carol had become almost inseparable since that day at the lagoon, since that kiss. After their passionate reunion, Therese had sat Carol down and insisted on hearing about what happened with Abby. She wanted to know all the details and could tell that the interaction had shaken Carol, despite the woman’s best attempt to hide it. 

Carol had gone through the events, step by step, word by word and Therese couldn’t help but feel guilty for having caused a divide between the two friends. She knew that Carol’s relationship with Abby wasn’t healthy to start with, and that communication was needed, but it was hard for her to ignore the fact that the conflict between them started mostly because of her. It also sounded like Abby didn’t exactly accept Carol’s decision to be with Therese which worried her, what else could they expect to come from Abby in the future? Would she let Carol go so easily and peacefully? Therese hardly knew the woman, but doubted this with every fibre of her being. Abby Gerhard didn’t seem like the kind of woman to back down, or give up. 

Therese must have thrust herself in a cycle of worry and overthinking, because Carol had to coax her back to the present through several reassuring touches and kisses. 

“I don’t want you to be concerned with this,” Carol had said. 

“How can I not?” Therese asked, “She’s proven how controlling and possessive she is when it comes to you. That’s not going to just go away.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“It’s not an outrageous assumption.”

“We can’t be constantly living in fear, always scared of what she might do next.”

“Aren’t you scared though?” 

“Before, yes. Maybe I still am now, but honestly I don’t care anymore. I just want to focus on you. On us,” Carol said lovingly. 

“Carol Aird, you sound like quite the romantic,” Therese said playfully, “Where has all this optimism come from?”

“You,” Carol replied simply, “You make me feel this way.”

Therese had kissed her and revelled in how natural it now seemed, like breathing. Now that she’d had the great pleasure of kissing Carol, all she wanted was to keep on doing so. Kissing Carol felt like the greatest privilege in the world that Therese had been granted with for some strange and wonderful reason and she intended to make the most of it. 

“We had such a rocky start,” Carol said to her, “We were confused and not communicating clearly with each other. Let’s restart and do this the right way.”

Therese had agreed with Carol and the two had stood firmly to that intention. The following week was what Therese could only describe as absolute bliss. Whenever Carol didn’t need to be at work, she spent time with Therese. The two women did everything and anything together, the activities didn’t really matter, they just enjoyed the undisturbed time to get to know each other better. Carol had also made it her mission to show Therese the other under appreciated and hidden spots in Nerinda. There weren’t many of them, the town was truly tiny, but they gave a greater depth to the place and a sense of mystery. 

They spent countless nights having picnics on the beach and talking or dining in one of the restaurants in town. Had the other residents of Nerinda noticed this budding romance? Therese wasn’t sure and she didn’t really care. She worried that Carol may be more affected by the gossip and murmurs, but the blonde seemed truly distracted and out of her head for once. She seemed to have come out of her shell at last. She was more open and transparent than ever. Her innate happiness and excitement was both evident and contagious, she made Therese feel like a teenager again. 

Over a week flew by and Therese had been almost too busy to notice that she was half way through her vacation. It was August now and she would be going back to New York at the end of the month. While this was weeks away, she dreaded to think of leaving this paradise with Carol. She hoped her proposal for them to drive back together still stood, that Carol wouldn’t back out or get scared. She wasn’t sure how it would work. If Carol would only stay for a visit or for a couple of months, how would their lives co exist? Would Carol like the city? Therese had countless questions and worries, but she knew it was futile to occupy herself with them now and not enjoy what was happening in front of her right now. They still had plenty of time before they had to make choices and decisions. And besides, Carol and her were only at the beginning of their relationship despite having known each other for a month now. It was too early to be expecting such commitment and change from each other. 

Tonight was another one of their routine nights, however, the simplicity of being in the company of someone you cared for and in such a beautiful place, had not been lost on Therese. Carol had laid out a blanket for them and the two feasted on an assortment of fruit, crackers, cheese and smoked seafood from Tommy’s. Therese opened two beers, passed one to Carol and was reminded of her first night here. Not much had changed, yet everything had. 

Carol took a sip of her beer and caught Therese staring, “You’re always looking, aren’t you?”

“Sorry,” Therese replied sheepishly, “It’s hard not to.”

Carol’s elegant hand caught her chin, “I never said it bothered me. You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

Therese smiled, “You’re not as shy as you seem.”

“It’s because I feel comfortable around you. Safe.”

Therese looked out at the waves rolling in and the fading sun, “I don’t know how you could ever tire of looking at this.”

“I think it’s easy to romanticize Nerinda,” Carol replied, “It’s a classic small town.”

“Do you not like it here?” Therese asked. 

Carol shook her head, “It’s not that. I’m just saying the facade is very deceiving. It’s not as wonderful as it seems.”

“Do elaborate,” Therese said, her eyes glittering, “It all sounds very mysterious.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t gone digging yourself yet,” Carol nudged her shoulder, “You’re the journalist after all.”

“I will say, when I first arrived I thought it was all too perfect to be true. It looked like something out of a novel.”

“Don’t get me wrong, most of the people are lovely here, but there’s tons of things going on under the surface. Especially with money. Most of the families here are really old and go back, all the businesses are passed down, like mine was. Otherwise no one would be able to afford rent and stay open. The houses are incredibly expensive too. There’s so many shady deals going on with people trying to buy places from underneath each other. It’s all done beneath polite smiles and manners though. Everyone here likes to gossip, but no one likes to make a scene.”

Therese found what Carol was saying to be absolutely riveting. While Dannie and Carol were the two people in town she knew the most, she’d encountered all of the people who lived here already and for the most part, they seemed the same. They were all kind, with that small town charm and politeness, except for Abby perhaps. It was both surprising and scandalous to hear about what was going on behind the scenes. 

“Is it a real estate thing? Do people want to own these places or just buy and sell?”

Carol’s brow furrowed, “I don’t know. People are rarely successful, but they certainly try.”

Therese’s eyes widened, “Do you think people are after the bed and breakfast?”

“Of course,” Carol said nonchalantly, “It’s the oldest building in town.”

“Have you ever been approached?”

“No,” Carol smiled secretly, “I think everyone is scared of me. I’m the strange woman who lives alone at the far end of the beach. The Boo Radley of Nerinda.”

Therese couldn’t help but laugh, “That’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

“You’re biased, darling,” Carol winked at her. 

A while later the sun had set and a crisp breeze started to come off the water. Both women started to pack up and head in for the night. Therese was about to return to her room, when Carol stopped her. 

“Do you want to stay?” she asked, inclining her head towards her home. 

The possibility had crossed Therese’s head several times, but she hadn’t plucked up the courage to ask.

“Is that okay?”

Carol smiled warmly, “Of course. Come in, I want to show you around. There’s not much, but it’s home.”

Carol’s soft hand slid into Therese’s and the two sough refuge inside Carol’s quaint cottage. Carol unlocked the door and stepped aside to let Therese in first. 

The moment Therese crossed the doorway she felt at ease. It was exactly how she pictured it, it looked like Carol, if that was possible. It was charming, warm and inviting. It was simple, yet cozy and comfortable. Therese understood why Carol had never moved or looked for a home elsewhere, it was all she needed, it was perfect. 

Carol walked past Therese and put the leftover food and beer in her fridge. Therese moved further into the space and ran her hand gently over all the wonderful fabrics and textures. Her eyes fell on the beautiful stone fireplace. 

The blonde caught her gaze and smiled, “Shall we have a fire?”

“Can we?” Therese replied, “Will you show me how to start it?”

Carol showed Therese her method and in a matter of minutes a crackling sound and smoky smell filled the space. Carol grabbed a couple blankets and pillows from the couch and laid them down in front of the fire. They sat down with their backs against the couch and Carol tenderly put her arm around Therese’s shoulders and pulled her close. 

“I don’t usually have guests,” Carol murmured into her hair, “It’s nice having someone here with me.”

“It makes me sad to think of you being here on your own all these years.”

“Don’t be,” Carol tucked some of Therese’s hair behind her ear, “You’re here now.”

Therese looked up and Carol kissed her slowly and deeply. Carol’s tongue was deliciously wet and her breath was warm against hers. The kiss resonated throughout Therese’s whole body and she couldn’t help but melt into Carol’s touch. Carol’s intimate side was so gentle, but passionate. Therese could tell how much more experienced the other woman was, how much more confident she was in expressing herself this way with her. It was like Carol was communicating with her on a deeper level through her actions. 

Richard had never been like this with her. Had never kissed her or touched her with such thought and consideration. The physical and sexual side of their relationship was satisfying and by no means horrible, but it wasn’t all consuming like this. Richard didn’t kiss her like he was making love to her. Richard didn’t touch her without seeking and hoping for more. Richard didn’t set all of Therese’s nerves on fire like Carol did. 

A little while later they came up for air and Therese held Carol’s hand, “I’ve never… I’ve never done anything with a woman before. I just wanted you to know.”

Carol’s eyes were full of understanding, “Thank you for telling me. Does this make you nervous? Being with me like this?”

“No,” Therese said confidently, “It feels… god it feels amazing, unlike anything else. I just don’t want you to be… disappointed. I don’t have much experience.”

Carol’s hands came up to hold her face, “I don’t expect anything Therese. I’m not going to take anything that you don’t want to give yourself willingly. You mean more to me than just sex.”

“I know, I didn’t doubt that.”

“You are so special to me, Therese,” Carol said meaningfully, “I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize this or lose your trust. You can tell me anything, I hope you know that.”

Therese shook her head slightly, “Where did you come from, Carol Aird? It’s like you’re some angel who just appeared from thin air. Flung from space.”


	12. I Want To

“When was the last time you spoke to Richard?”

“He called to make sure I had arrived safely. That was the last time.”

“So a month ago?”

“Yes.

“Wow.”

The two women were walking back into town after an eventful day out in the sun. Therese had brought her film camera with them and Carol took them on a walking tour of what she believed were the most photogenic places in Nerinda. The brunette started out well intentioned, but by the end of the day Carol was sure that most of the photographs she had taken were of her. 

Therese had made an argument that Carol was the most photo worthy thing around and proceeded to capture her in a variety of lights and settings. Carol had been embarrassed and shy at first being on the other side of the woman’s lens, but a part of her was deeply flattered and found the attention heartwarming. 

She’d realized over these past weeks that Therese was very forthcoming and candid about how she felt, she wasn’t afraid to put herself on the line and be open with how she felt. It was clear that she enjoyed giving Carol compliments and reminding her about how beautiful she was and how much she enjoyed her company. Carol didn’t realize until now how much she needed to hear those things. How much she needed to hear that she was valued and appreciated and… loved. 

“Try and hide your judgement a little better, Carol,” Therese teased her

Carol laughed, “I’m sorry. Actually I’m not really. Don’t you think he should know though?”

Therese grew quiet all of her sudden and her tone turned more serious. 

“I’m going to break up with him,” she said without hesitation, “I just don’t want to do it over the phone. Especially considering we’ve been apart for so long. I owe him that much. I’ll do it when I’m back in New York, when I see him next.”

“I believe you, darling,” Carol assured her, “I just don’t want it to cause more conflict than needed. He’s probably going to have questions. He’ll find out that you’ve been hiding the truth.”

“Does it bother you?” Therese asked, “That I haven’t told him.”

“Not really,” Carol admitted, “Maybe that sounds bad, but I know your intentions. I know that you plan to. I guess I feel kind of bad for him?”

“In my eyes it’s been over a while now. Him not coming with me was the answer I needed, that this wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was being unfaithful on this work trip of his.”

“You don’t miss him at all?”

“Not one bit.”

“Well his loss is my gain,” Carol slid her hand into Therese’s, “And I’m going to selfishly enjoy every minute of it.”

They walked in silence for a few moments and Carol could tell that something was on Therese’s mind. 

“I can almost hear you thinking,” she said. 

“Do you still want to drive with me back east?” Therese asked. 

Carol could tell that Therese had been hesitant to ask. Perhaps she had been worried that Carol had changed her mind. 

“Yes, I do,” she said warmly, “We’ll have to plan it, I have to give my employees notice.”

“Right, I didn’t even think about that,” Therese looked apologetic. 

“If I’m gone just a week or two, they’ll manage. But if it’s any longer I’ll have to think about it.”

Therese deliberated, her brow narrowing. Green eyes deep in thought. Carol found the expression endearing, but it was obvious that Therese was worried about something. There was a fear hidden underneath the questions she was asking. 

“Are you worried about what will happen after the summer ends? What will happen to us?” she asked gently. 

“I want to be in the present and just enjoy this, but I can’t stop thinking about it,” Therese confessed. 

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” Carol revealed. 

“Really?”

Carol laughed quietly, “Of course I have! It feels like time is slipping away from us every day. That’s why I’ve been taking so much time off. I want to spend the rest of the summer with you, while you’re here.”

“Long distance is really hard,” Therese said, “And I’m going to be so busy with work once I get back.”

“We’ll make it work, Therese,” Carol reassured her, “I’m not going to forget about you the moment you’re gone.”

“Maybe I can come back during the holidays. Or you can come to New York? Or we could meet in the middle. Chicago? That’s not really the middle, is it. I can probably come back out next summer. That’s ages from now though.” Therese was talking out loud, her rambling a clear product of her worry. 

Carol took both of Therese’s hands in her own and squeezed them, “Therese, breathe.” 

Therese did as Carol advised and took a deep, grounding breath, “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Carol said quietly, “These are all concerns of mine too. God, I think about it all the time. The thought of you not being in Nerinda, not being next to me when I wake up… it tears me apart.”

Therese shuddered at Carol’s words.

Carol continued, “I just think we should enjoy the time we have and face these issues together when we need to, don’t you think?”

“You’re right,” Therese started to laugh, “I just need to relax.”

Carol’s arm slid across Therese’s shoulders and pulled her close, “Come on, let’s get back home and put our feet up, shall we?”

\- - - - 

Later that evening, Carol was lounging on her bed reading, dressed in a simple cotton shift that she usually wore at nighttime. The water was running in the bathroom, Therese was having a shower and Carol could faintly hear her humming from the room over. Therese hadn’t stayed up in the bed and breakfast since her first night with Carol and the blonde found she had quickly gotten used to living with the other woman. She liked seeing Therese’s clothes and belongings next to hers. She liked smelling the remnants of Therese’s shampoo when she entered the bathroom. These small, domestic moments made everything seem more real and reminded Carol that this was actually happening. It wasn’t some wonderful dream that she was bound to wake up from. 

She vaguely heard the water turn off, heard movement from inside the bathroom. She didn’t pay much attention to it, caught up in the book she was reading. It was when the bathroom door opened and only silence followed that she finally looked up. Therese was standing merely feet away, covered only in one of Carol’s bath towels. 

Carol felt like everything was moving in slow motion when the brunette walked closer to the bed. She held her breath as she took in the sight of Therese’s exposed collarbone, the subtle glimpse of cleavage, the few beads of water that ran down her slim arms and legs. The woman hadn’t washed her hair, it hung dry and silky in long waves down her back. Her face was fresh and pink, her green eyes held an emotion that was hard for Carol to decipher. It wasn’t nervousness or curiosity, it looked… hungry. Carol wasn’t sure if her own desire was being reflected back at her, if she was seeing what she wanted to see. When Therese reached her at the bed, leaned down and kissed her, however, it was made perfectly clear. Therese’s desire and want and longing poured out of her and Carol found herself breathless by the sheer intention and passion behind the kiss. 

Carol’s hand abandoned her book, which tumbled off the bed. She redirected her attention to Therese and pulled her down, pulled her closer. Her fingers tangled in the dark mess of hair and pulled gently. Therese tasted sweet, her mouth warm and wet. Carol could easily get lost just in the sensual kissing, licking, sucking. She couldn’t help but notice, however, the way her body had heated up, the ache that travelled through her muscles and rested in her core, between her legs. She wanted Therese desperately, but did not want to rush her, did not want to come off as presumptuous. 

She felt Therese suddenly move. Noticed the other woman’s hand move to where her towel was tucked in and being held in place. Carol immediately covered Therese’s hands and made her still. 

“You don’t have to,” she said through laboured breaths, “I’m not expecting… I don’t need…”

She struggled to find the right words and Therese instead silenced her with another numbing kiss. 

“I want to,” she whispered, “I want this. I want you.”

The brunette found the top of her towel again, untucked it and let it fall to the ground. Carol felt her mind break, her words completely escape her as she took in Therese’s nude form. She was absolutely beautiful. 

The slowly burned light in Carol’s home made for shadowy lighting that only accentuated the dips and curves of Therese’s body. Her skin was almost markless and opaque, it showed no faults or varying colour. Her breasts were small, but had a fullness to them, the nipples a faint rose colour. She stood before Carol completely exposed, vulnerable and defenceless, yet she didn’t look scared. She had no shame or insecurity from what Carol saw, she trusted Carol and felt safe being this way with her. 

“Do you want me, Carol?” Therese asked in a silky voice before moving forward and stradling Carol on the bed. 

Carol groaned from pleasure at Therese’s pleasant weight on top of her. Her hands moved to the woman’s waist and travelled upwards, towards her breasts. Therese directly took Carol’s hand and placed it on her, squeezing her breast. Carol couldn’t help but moan at how soft, how incredible she felt. 

“God yes,” she said as she started to massage her, “I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Therese leaned forward and licked a hot stripe up Carol’s neck, towards her ear, “Show me,” she said, her breath hot in Carol’s ear. 

Carol sat more upright, wrapped one arm around Therese’s waist to keep her secure and descended onto her body with her mouth. Her teeth and tongue found her collarbone, her breasts, her shoulder and neck. If Carol thought Therese’s mouth tasted sweet… her whole body was a revelation, she was absolutely divine. Several moans escaped Therese’s lips that spurred Carol on further. Therese’s hands locked behind Carol’s neck and she started to roll her hips into Carol’s lap. Carol could smell Therese’s arousal, could feel it spilling and soaking her clothes, but she could care less. All her senses were wrapped up and consumed by Therese. Therese, Therese, Therese. 

“I…” Therese spoke between gasps and moans, “I… want to see you too.”

Carol gently laid Therese out on the bed and crawled over her while slowly removing her dress. The straps fell down and she quickly shimmied out of it, pushing it off the bed with her foot. 

“Better?” she asked with a devious smile. 

Therese’s hand ran over her hip, squeezed the flesh there. She was the most wide eyed Carol had ever seen her. 

“I’ll never look like that,” Therese breathed. 

“No,” Carol kissed her, “You look like you. And you’re absolutely stunning.”

Therese threw her head back as Carol kissed a line down her throat, stomach, hips, inching closer towards the place where that addictive and delicious aroma was being emitted. 

“Carol… please…” Therese said as she lifted her hips off the bed. 

Carol’s hands slid up her thighs and squeezed at her bum, “You smell amazing,” she groaned. 

She parted Therese’s legs and licked at her thighs. She suddenly felt Therese seize up, felt the reaching hand which touched her head. 

“You don’t have to do that,” her voice was laced with worry. 

Carol licked closer and watched Therese shudder, “Don’t you want me to?”

“Richard… Richard never liked to.”

“Well,” Carol continued to lick, “I’m not Richard, am I? And I particularly want to.”

Therese’s head was thrown back again, Carol saw her back arch. The other woman’s hand found its way into Carol’s hair and tugged. This was the encouragement and sign that Carol needed. Therese’s sex was weeping, aching with need. Carol’s mouth made contact with the sensitive folds, the bundle of nerves and she heard a silent scream escape Therese. Christ, she tasted amazing. 

She didn’t let up until Therese’s whole body was shaking and writhing underneath her. The brunette clenched tightly when she came, her legs squeezed around Carol’s head and her skin became like liquid silk. When she had finally calmed down, Carol moved back up her body. Therese’s eyes were blown out and her chest was slick with sweat. 

“That was… amazing,” she said, “It’s never been like that before.”

Carol lowered her body onto Therese’s and proceeded to shower her with kisses. Therese’s leg came up to wrap around Carol’s waist and she could feel the woman’s arousal still flowing and covering Carol deliciously. 

“Looks like someone’s not done yet,” she purred as her hand fell between Therese’s legs. 

Her fingers moved through silky wetness and towards the pulsing heat of Therese’s core. Carol latched onto Therese’s throat and sucked the skin there as she gently, but purposefully sunk two fingers inside her. 

“Fuck!” Therese exclaimed, “Carol please don’t stop… faster,” she said through gasping breaths. 

Carol sped up her movements and marvelled at the reaction and pleasure she was able to give Therese. The two entered a persistent and punishing rhythm, their bodies sliding and grinding against each other. Therese rolled her hips with Carol’s movements, desperate to have as much friction as possible. It was when the younger woman came again that Carol got to see her face up close. Got to see the way her eyes rolled back and mouth parted.

"God you're going to be the death of me," Carol breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to write brief love scenes, but I have a feeling none of you will mind...


	13. Word Gets Around

“Belivet, where have ya been? It’s been ages!”

“I’ve been a bad friend, I know. I’m sorry Dannie.”

“Hey, I’m just giving you a hard time. I happen to know what you’ve been doing. Or maybe I should be saying who you’ve been doing?”

“Dannie!”

“Word gets around, you know?”

“Have you been saying that to people?”

“Don’t lie, it’s true! Look at your face!”

Therese socked Dannie in the arm playfully, pulling a laugh out of the young man. They had met up in town for much needed time together. Therese had undoubtedly been focused solely on Carol these past couple of weeks and had neglected everything and everyone else. Not only were the women in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, but they were extra conscious of the remaining time they had together. Every moment felt precious and fleeting. 

Therese had never been the kind of person constantly attached to a significant other, she valued her independence and alone time, but Carol was different. It wasn’t that they were necessarily co dependent with each other, they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. They were invested in learning about each other and trying to understand what made the other tick. Perhaps it was where they were, perhaps it was the fact it’s summertime, but it truly felt like they were in their own little world. Therese truly felt safe and at ease with Carol in a way that she never had with anyone else in her life. The connection they had seemed like it was formed before they had even met, in a different universe, in a different world. 

“Jokes aside, I’m really happy for you,” Dannie said, “Every time I see you or Carol, you both just have these huge smiles plastered across your faces. There’s no denying that.”

Therese shook her head, “We’ve been running around like teenagers. We haven’t even really stopped to consider how it would be perceived. What people would think.”

“I don’t think you should worry about that too much,” Dannie advised, “People here have their opinions, but they rarely share them out loud. No one wants to come off as the town gossip, even though everyone does it.”

Therese looked down, “I wonder what Abby thinks. She’s practically been invisible since all of it happened.”

“Carol hasn’t heard from her?”

“No.”

“Between you and me? I think Abby’s planning something.”

Therese was disturbed, “Have you heard something?”

“No, I would have told you. I just have a feeling.”

Therese scratched her head, “I do too, but Carol doesn’t want me to worry. There’s other things to focus on. I think we’re already concerned about the lack of time we have left.”

“Fair point,” Dannie looked at her meaningfully, “Any plans?”

“I want her to drive back with me,” Therese revealed, “She seems really open to it, but the closer we get to the end of the summer, the more it feels like a fantasy. We both have responsibilities, our lives are completely different and we live across the country from each other.”

“Do all of those things really matter to you?”

“Yes and no,” Therese said, “It’s hard to ignore, but at the end of the day I just want her. This is different, Dannie. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced.”

Dannie let out a low whistle, “Sounds serious.”

Therese cocked her head, “Don’t say it.”

Dannie raised his arms, “Hey, I haven’t said a thing.”

“I know you’re thinking it though.”

“You don’t have to defend yourself, Therese. Sometimes you don’t know why you are attracted to some people and not to others. The only thing you really know is, you either are attracted or you’re not. Sometimes it’s Richard, sometimes it’s Carol and sometimes it’s neither.”

Dannie’s words settled somewhere deep within Therese. Perhaps she was overcomplicating something that at its core, was very simple. Being in Nerinda, having this time away from the city and away from her work made everything seem clearer. She didn’t have the constant distractions anymore to deter her from facing her problems and the things in her life that weren’t making her happy. In a way, she felt more sure of herself and her decisions than ever. She wasn’t confused or conflicted, she wanted Carol and only Carol. 

\- - - - 

Therese returned to the bed and breakfast later in the afternoon to see Carol arranging flowers into several vases to place around the lobby and dining room. She greeted Therese with a sparkling smile and a gentle kiss on the cheek. 

“You look wonderful,” the blonde said appraisingly. 

“I look the same as I always do,” Therese replied, immediately embarrassed. 

“Exactly. You always look wonderful.”

Therese bypassed Carol’s compliments, “How’s your day going?”

“Slow. How was your day with Dannie?” Carol asked. 

“Good, I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d seen him last.”

Carol had a mischievous glint in her eye, “Did you give him my apologies for keeping you hostage?”

Therese laughed, “He wasn’t too offended. He’s happy for us. He really likes you, you know?”

Carol looked down, “He’s one of the few around here that does.”

“You don’t believe that, do you?”

The blonde smiled sadly, “Sometimes. Most of the time.”

Therese moved closer and covered Carol’s hand with her own, “You always make comments about how you’re the outcast of the town, but in reality they all adore you. I haven’t heard one person here say anything poor about you.”

“It feels like there’s always something being said behind my back, a conversation I’m not privy to.”

“Maybe it’s because they don’t understand you,” Therese suggested, “They find it hard to be close to you so they rely on assumption and rumour, because they don’t have anything else.”

“You’d think there would be a bigger sense of community in such a small town,” Carol reflected, “But to be honest it feels like we’re all just still in high school. There’s no guarantee that you’ll fit in no matter where you are.”

“Hey, hey,” Therese cooed, “Where is this coming from?”

Therese moved to take both of Carol’s hands and the blonde continued to look down. 

“I guess I’m just nervous. About how we’ll fit in each other’s worlds. I don’t feel like I belong here, but I don’t think I’ll belong in New York either.”

Therese glanced around the lobby before stepping into Carol’s arms and pulling her into a tender kiss. After a moment she felt Carol’s tension and anxiety dissipate, the blonde relaxing into the kiss. 

“Other people don’t get to dictate whether you belong or not. You decide for yourself,” Therese whispered. 

Carol’s eyes were shiny. She pulled Therese closer and murmured, “So much wisdom for someone so young.”

“I don’t know about that,” Therese laughed weakly. 

Carol kissed her forehead, “Agree to disagree.”

“Are you almost done here? Is there anything I can do to help?” Therese offered. 

“No, I don’t think so…” Carol’s eyes started to have that far off look, “Wait, actually there is something… follow me.”

Carol took Therese’s hand and guided her behind the front desk and through the door behind which led to her office. The moment the door was closed, Therese felt her back against it and Carol’s lips descend onto hers. She barely had time to react, suddenly all her senses were filled and consumed by Carol. The other woman’s hands were in her hair, around her waist, clawing at her chest and gently squeezing her throat. She returned the energetic passion excitedly and willingly. She relished Carol’s hot breath on hers and their bodies pressed against each other. 

“So this is what you needed help with?” Therese asked in between kisses. 

“You are the best and worst distraction,” Carol said, her voice rough and low, “I can’t concentrate with you standing there. Looking like that.”

A giggle bubbled within Therese, “Looking like what? Wonderful?”

Carol’s hand found the flesh of Therese’s thigh and squeezed, “Delicious.”

\- - - - 

“Do you have a picture of your father?”

“Yes, let me get it.”

Carol left her spot in bed with Therese and padded over to the bookshelf beside the fireplace. She picked up a small picture frame on the shelf and returned to Therese and got back underneath the blankets with her. 

“Here,” Carol handed her the photograph. 

Carol’s father was exactly as Therese pictured. Tall, handsome, but with kind eyes and a charming smile. A young Carol was also in the picture and the resemblance was undeniable. 

“You look like him,” Therese said lovingly. 

“You think so?”

Therese nodded, “I wish I could have met him.”

“Me too. He would have loved you.”

“Do you still have all of his things?”

“A lot of keepsakes and knick knacks,” Carol said as she looked around her home, “I didn’t keep everything. Not all his clothes and things. I don’t know, that time was so confusing and disorienting. I feel like some things may have gone missing when it happened. I have his will that states the bed and breakfast would be given to me, but I don’t have any of the legal documents.”

“They got lost?” Therese asked. 

“I don’t know.”

“Do you need them?”

Carol shrugged, “I spent ages looking for them. I know they existed, but they’re gone now. It’s strange how things like that happen. It’s like memories after a person passes or leaves from your life. One day everything is so vivid and the next things start to slip away. Like they were never there to start with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are still enjoying this story, thank you for being so patient with me! Things are about to change very soon for our ladies and many of your questions are about to be answered...


	14. Getting Ahead of Ourselves

The dream haunted Carol again.

This time, she was partially lucid within it, desperate to understand what it meant and who the figure was that she seemed to be chasing. It started as it always did. She woke up in the bed and breakfast in a strange room alone then raced downstairs, through the lobby and outside onto the beach. Nothing or nobody was there at first. The ocean was stormy and choppy and Carol could feel the cold wind on her skin. She runs aimlessly, with no direction, yet she feels an urgency and desperation within her. 

Then it appears. Right ahead of her, Carol sees some indecipherable shape. It looks like a person, but she’s not sure. She speeds up and calls after it. In a matter of moments it starts to shift, starts to take the form of a person. A woman. Like last time, Carol thought it was Abby, but she became unsure. She had almost reached them when she woke.

\- - - - 

Carol woke with gasping breaths, like she was having a panic attack. There was ringing in her ears, the room was spinning and she barely felt Therese’s hands on her arms that were trying to calm her. She was certain her heart was going to burst, the beating was so loud. It was only after a few moments that she had calmed down more and realized that the beating sound was not coming from within her, someone was at her door. 

She couldn’t tell who it was and got up from the bed. She threw a cardigan around herself and started to move towards the bed, but a slender hand latched onto her wrist. She turned to see Therese, whose face was full of worry and concern. 

“Carol…”

“It’s fine, darling. I’m fine. Just stay there and I’ll see who it is.”

Carol unlocked the door and pried it open just slightly to see who it was on the other side. It was Abby Gerhard. 

“We need to talk,” Abby said in a hard voice. 

Carol glanced behind at Therese and saw the young woman’s eyes widen at the sound of Abby’s voice. The brunette looked like she was about to move from her spot in bed, but Carol raised a hand. I’ve got this, the gesture communicated. 

Carol stepped outside and closed the door behind her, “Did this discussion need to happen first thing in the morning? The sun is hardly up.”

Abby looked around Carol. The drapes were drawn so she could not see through the window into the cottage. 

“Is she in there with you?” the edge in her voice was unmistakable. 

Carol instantly felt guarded, “Her name is Therese and yes.”

Abby swallowed, “I thought you would have moved on from this by now.”

“No. You hoped I would have,” Carol corrected her. 

Abby massaged her temples, “I’m tired of fighting, Carol. Can’t we go back to how things were?”

“You say that like things were amazing before.”

“Fine. Can we just stop whatever this is? I want my best friend back.”

“That depends,” Carol said, “Can you accept that I’m in a relationship with Therese? That I’m not going to entertain this give and take friendship with you anymore?”

“You make me sound like a villain,” Abby said through her teeth, “I’m just looking out for you. That’s always what I’ve tried to do.”

“You have a strange way of showing it,” Carol shot back, “I feel like your possession most of the time.”

Abby’s face contorted, her remorse and guilt was actually evident for once, “I’m sorry. I never meant it to come off that way. I guess I got jealous. I’m not good at sharing.”

Carol shook her head and started to slowly pace outside her home, “I just don’t understand this behaviour at all Abby. Why would you be jealous of Therese? What reason would you have? You said that you don’t have feelings, that this is platonic, but it doesn’t feel that way.”

Abby looked panicked, “Carol…”

“It’s the only reason for all of this,” Carol continued, “This… explosive reaction. It didn’t come out of nowhere. Can you see why I’m confused? Can you see why I’m considering it?”

“It’s not that,” Abby said quickly, “I just… I don’t like her. I don’t like her around you.”

Carol sighed and gave Abby a long stare, “That’s not a good enough reason.”

\- - - - 

Abby burst into her apartment and slammed the door behind her. She sat down on her bed, covered her face with her hands and started to scream. After awhile, her voice cracked and became hoarse. The screaming quieted and turned into gasping sobs. She pulled her knees into her chest and sat there for what seemed like hours. 

Some time passed and the crying had ceased, Abby had turned silent. She raised her head from her knees, her face red and blotchy. She looked towards her desk that sat across from her bed. She got up abruptly and swiftly moved towards it, pulling out the chair and sitting down. She opened up her laptop, launched the search engine and typed, “Therese Belivet.”

She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand as she started to scroll and click through the results. She came across several of the articles Therese had written as well as photographs of her in New York, in the midst of her work. She saw several where she was accompanied by a young man with a large smile, his arm around her waist. She searched the captions underneath the photographs until she found a name, “Richard Semco.”

Abby opened a second tab and launched another search. 

\- - - - 

Later that day, Carol and Therese stood around the kitchen table in Carol’s home, which had a large map of the United States laid out on top of it. There were several marks and notes written all over it. Therese’s laptop was propped up beside the map which the two women had been using to search places to go and stay during their trip out east. 

“Okay onto Iowa,” Therese said. 

“Well, Des Moines would be the obvious stop,” Carol said as she studied the map.

“It’s slightly off our route though… how about Waterloo?” Therese asked as she read off of the computer.

Carol laughed, “Water-what?”

“Waterloo,” Therese repeated, “Isn’t that awful? We wouldn’t have to go out of the way to get there, though.”

“Alright then,” Carol picked up a pen, “Let’s add it to the list.”

Therese stepped back to admire their work so far, “Do you think we’re getting ahead of ourselves?”  
“By what? Planning this trip?” Carol asked.

Therese nodded. 

“Well the end of the summer is almost here,” Carol pointed out, “I don’t think it’s overly premature.”

“I know, I just have… that feeling,” Therese’s words trailed off. 

Carol moved closer and stroked Therese’s arm, “What feeling?”

“When you plan something in advance and get excited, then it doesn’t end up happening. Almost like because you planned, it wasn’t going to happen,” Therese said in a quiet voice. 

“If that’s true, then you’d never have anything to look forward to,” Carol said gently. 

“I guess that’s true,” Therese smiled sheepishly, “I think I’m used to always preparing for the worst.”

“I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t relate to that,” Carol said understandingly, “I’ve had to change my thinking though. You’re in my life now, I have to hope. I want to hope.”

Carol kissed Therese and pulled her closer to her. 

“I can’t believe the summer is almost over,” Therese sighed, “I wish we had more time.”

“You’re not getting rid of me yet,” Carol reminded her, “We are driving across the country together. That’s going to be a lot of time in the car together.”

“When was the last time you drove your car?”

“A while ago. I should probably take it in for a check up before we leave.”

“You should get a spare too.”

“God, I didn’t think about that. Do you know how to change a tire?”

A mischievous look flashed across Therese’s face, “I have some tricks up my sleeve.”

Carol grinned and wrapped her arms around Therese’s waist, “I don’t doubt it.”

They kissed again. This one was longer, deeper, more thoughtful than the last. Carol was always taken aback by how consumed and distracted she became around Therese. The younger woman had become so much more confident and comfortable with her since their first time. 

After some time, Therese turned so her back was to the table, “That’s enough planning for today.”

“Oh?” Carol lowered her voice, “What did you want to do instead?”

Therese’s eyes darkened and she backed Carol up so she was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs. Carol watched in both amusement and lust as Therese climbed onto her lap and straddled her. 

“As I said,” Therese’s lips hovered right by Carol’s ear, “I have some tricks up my sleeve.”

\- - - - 

Hours later, Abby hasn’t moved positions from before. Her hair was a mess, her clothes wrinkled, she’s gotten lost in the black hole that the internet is. Therese was no longer across her screen. Abby has articles that Richard has done up there now as well as photographs of him working overseas this summer. She also has his contact information up. 

One of the desk drawers has been pulled open and a small stack of papers, legal documents, can be seen inside. The print is so fine, that the details cannot be read from a distance, but their purpose is clear as day. The papers are dusty, like they haven’t been looked at or considered in years. They have been hidden for a reason and with purpose. 

Abby scrambled to find her phone and dialed a number, Richard’s number. It rang several times, but was finally picked up. 

“Hello?”

Abby relaxed, a malicious smile spread across her face, “Hi, is this Richard Semco?”

“Uh, yes? Who are you?”

“Abby Gerhard.”

“I’m sorry, am I supposed to know who you are?”

“We’ve never met,” Abby clarified, “But I’m calling as a friend. I have some information that I think might interest you…”

“About what?”

“Your girlfriend.”


	15. I'm Coming With You

They were having a normal day when Therese’s phone rang. 

She didn’t think anything of it, she almost didn’t answer it at all. Over this vacation she’d had few reasons to check her phone, she was happy to have her attention occupied by something other than for her work. Perhaps this was why she didn’t take the time to pause and consider who was on the other end of the line. She answered the call without even looking at the caller identification. 

“Hello?” she said into the phone.

“Terry?”

Therese almost dropped her phone, “Richard? Is that you?”

Carol, who was nearby, stopped what she was doing at the sound of Richard’s name. She had been filing paperwork at the front desk in the lobby while Therese caught up on work emails. They had been going at it for a couple hours in peaceful silence, not needing to entertain each other, just relishing the quiet company. This phone call had been a tremendous disturbance that Therese couldn’t have seen coming. She looked over and saw a tension form throughout the blonde’s entire body. She saw how the woman’s blue eyes became guarded with a sense of protectiveness. 

“Of course it’s me, were you expecting someone else?” Richard’s tone was uncomfortably light, friendly. 

“No, I’m just surprised is all,” Therese tried her best to sound nonchalant and calm despite how she was feeling inside. 

Therese had hardly thought of Richard all summer. Had rarely stopped to consider what he was up to, how his work was going overseas. Whether he was missing her or not. She was angry at first of course, but all of those feelings had dissipated when she met Carol. Her energy and emotions were better served elsewhere. Hearing Richard’s voice now, however, brought up all those feelings of frustration and disappointment from before. 

“Where are you?” Richard asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. 

Therese bit back a harsh laugh, “Nerinda! On the vacation that you abandoned.”

“I know that, Terry, I’m not daft. I mean where in Nerinda are you? I just got off the plane.”

Therese did drop her phone that time. The impact of it hitting the ground was immense, at least in Therese’s head. She felt her whole body start to shake. Richard was here? He had actually come? She faintly heard Richard’s voice on the other line and scrambled to the floor to pick up her phone. She could see Carol’s worried expression in her peripheral vision, but couldn’t face the blonde right now. She had to confirm what she had just heard.

“Terry? Are you there?” 

“Yes, yes I’m here. I just dropped my phone.”

“I just got into the cab. Where should I tell them to go?”

Therese was still shaking, “The bed and breakfast. It’s at the end of the beach. The driver will know.”

Richard sounded satisfied, “I’ll see you soon. We have to talk. I have some news to tell you.”

The line cut off and Therese put her phone down before covering her face with her hands. Carol was by her side in a matter of moments. Her presence would typically be comforting and reassuring, but Therese didn’t think she had the strength to face her. To tell her that her ex boyfriend would be arriving in a matter of minutes. What did Richard want? What was this news he had to tell her? Why had he come so suddenly? Her questions were endless. 

“What did he have to say?” Carol’s tone was cautious. 

Therese swallowed, but she felt like she was gasping for air, “He’s here. In Nerinda.”

Carol looked almost as shocked as Therese, “What?!”

“He just got off the plane,” Therese repeated what she knew, but it still didn’t sound real, “He’s going to be here anytime now.”

“It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine,” Carol murmured, it wasn’t clear whether she was consoling herself or Therese, “Did he say why he was here?”

Therese shook her head, “He said he had news. He sounded… excited, happy.”

Carol’s eyes widened, “Does he know about us?”

“How would he know about us?” Therese was exasperated. 

“Are you going to tell him?” Carol persisted. 

Therese groaned, “I just need a minute to think.”

“Well, a minute is all you’re going to have.”

A tension filled silence fell between them. It was clear that both women were trying to reign in their emotions, trying to prevent themselves from overreacting. Carol seemed restless, Therese could tell that the woman wanted to move closer or touch her, but something held her back. Therese looked at Carol’s beautiful face with a newfound sense of intensity, like she was trying to sear the sight into her memory forever. 

“Why does this feel like the end?” Therese asked quietly.

Carol looked puzzled, “What do you mean?”

A voice from behind disturbed them before Therese was able to respond, “Terry?!”

Carol looked over Therese’s head in the direction of the voice, a slight hardness forming across her striking features. Therese turned and was barely able to comprehend the sight, before she knew it, Richard had pulled her into his arms and into a rather forceful kiss. 

The kiss was unfamiliar and uncomfortable, especially after the last weeks where Carol had shown Therese an abundance of tenderness and passion that she didn’t know existed. She quickly adjusted to it, however, and was surprised by how it instantly transported her back to New York, back to her normal life. It was like waking up from the most wonderful dream and wanting to stay in it forever. Nerinda and Carol were the dream, Richard and New York the reality. 

After acclimating, Therese remembered where she was, who she was with and escaped Richard’s hold. She saw the disturbed and distraught look that Carol had before floating away, back to her spot behind the front desk. Her absence was distressing, Therese did not want to have to face Richard alone, she needed all the support she could get. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Richard said with a loopy grin, “Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“What are you doing here?” Therese asked, “The summer isn’t over yet, aren’t you supposed to be overseas?”

“My assignment ended early, they let me go. But they offered me a permanent position in New York. It pays more, I get to choose what articles I want to write on. I’ll be one of the first the paper chooses when they’re sending foreign correspondence.”

Therese had a sinking feeling in her stomach, “That’s great, Richard.”

“That’s not all,” Richard continued, “I showed them your work while I was over there and they were really impressed. They want to offer you the same deal Therese. We can start next week.”

Therese could have sworn she heard Carol drop something from the other side of the room. The deafening noise matched how she felt inside. 

“What?!” she exclaimed. 

“It’s great news right?” Richard took both her hands in his which were rough and calloused, “We can finally move out of that cramped apartment. Get something nice. And we’ll get to travel regularly, it’s everything you wanted. Everything we talked about.”

Richard’s enthusiasm was exhausting, “I have to think about it,” Therese said firmly. 

The lighthearted expression temporarily faded from Richard’s face, “What? What do you have to think about? This is the opportunity of a lifetime!”

“It’s what you want, not what I want.”

Richard shook his head, “This doesn’t make any sense. You’ve been talking about this for years. This is the kind of promotion we’ve both been waiting for.”

“Things change, Richard!” Therese exclaimed, “People change! I’m not the same person I was when I said that.”

Richard picked up his bags, “You’re overexcited, once you calm down you’ll realize how amazing this is.”

Therese watched in bemusement as Richard walked up to Carol at the front desk, “What room are we in?”

Carol wordlessly handed Richard the key to the room that Therese hadn’t inhabited in weeks. Therese watched as Richard climbed the stairs and quickly disappeared from sight. Carol continued with her business, like what had just transpired didn’t matter to her at all. Therese could see the emotion brimming beneath the surface though, could tell that the blonde was on the verge of a breakdown. 

“Carol…” she said, feeling at a loss for words. 

“You should go join him, Therese,” Carol’s voice was hard and she didn’t look up from what she was doing. 

\- - - - 

“I’ve booked us on the first flight out tomorrow,” Richard said later that night, “You can decide whether you want to join me, but I hope you do.”

“Richard…”

“I missed you, Terry. I want to make things right between us again.”

Therese watched as Richard got underneath the covers of the bed and turned off the lamp on the nightstand. While he was distracted, she had moved her belongings and luggage from Carol’s place back into the guest room. She didn’t like how their things looked together. She didn’t like seeing her possessions apart from Carol’s. It felt wrong, like something was missing. 

Richard and her had spent the rest of the day together discussing the promotion and what would be waiting for them back in New York. Richard was right, the offer was incredible and not one Therese could pass up. It was indeed what she had been waiting for, the boost her career desperately needed. All of those dreams and goals seemed irrelevant now, however, Therese had different priorities, different people to consider. Like Carol. 

Carol, who she hadn’t seen for the remainder of the day. Who had shut down almost completely, no doubt because Therese hadn’t been fully transparent with Richard like she said she was going to. She couldn’t blame the blonde for feeling hurt, she had gone against her word. She knew that she had to leave eventually, but tomorrow was too soon. She thought she would have an entire roadtrip with Carol still to process it all. She thought that Carol would be staying with her in New York for at least a couple of weeks. All of their plans, all of the things that Therese had been looking forward to seemed like an unreachable dream now. Richard had been the unkind wake up call that Therese had been ignoring. 

Therese waited until Richard was asleep, then slipped out of their room. She knew from history that he was a heavy sleeper, nothing was likely to phase him or wake him. Therese tiptoed downstairs into the dark lobby. The light wasn’t on in Carol’s office so she went outside and made her way over to the cottage. Carol never locked the door, so she silently entered to see the blonde asleep in bed. Therese bit her lip and fought the urge to cry. She walked around to the empty side of the bed, lifted the covers and got in with Carol. 

The blonde was the opposite of Richard, an insomniac and inherent worrier. She woke before Therese had even settled in the bed. Her deep blue eyes found Therese and bore into her. The pain and fear was evident within them. Therese opened her mouth, trying to find a way to properly apologise. Carol surprised her though when she wrapped her arms around Therese’s waist and pulled her closer. Carol’s body was warm and familiar, Therese found herself relaxing into it immediately. She wasn’t prepared to feel the woman shuddering beside her though. She wasn’t prepared to hear Carol’s silent, heartbroken sobs. She wasn’t prepared to have Carol hold her face and kiss her over and over again. The kisses were desperate and pleading, laced with the saltiness from Carol’s tears. 

“Don’t leave,” Carol’s voice was broken through her tears. 

Any control that Therese still had, vanished. Several tears slipped down onto her cheeks. A tightness formed within her chest.

“Carol… I’m so sorry.”

“I know it’s selfish,” Carol sniffed, “I know this is an amazing opportunity, but I don’t want you to go. It’s too soon.”

“I’m not ready to go,” Therese whispered, “Richard wants me to.”

“Does he still have feelings for you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Carol bursted into more tears after asking the question.

“No. No, Carol, no,” Therese held her tightly and repeatedly kissed the top of her head. 

“I don’t want this to be the end.”

Carol was the smallest she had ever been. She curled into a ball and tucked herself into Therese’s chest. She continued to cry. Therese wasn’t sure how much longer it was that they stayed up. How much longer the tears kept on falling. Eventually, Carol cried herself into exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep. Therese remained awake though. She remained awake long enough to see the slow burned light come through the windows. Being careful not to wake Carol, Therese pried herself from her hold and slipped out from the bed. She stood and took one last look at Carol lying there peacefully before leaving the cottage. 

When she closed the door behind her, she looked over to see Richard emerging from the bed and breakfast with his luggage. Therese joined him on the porch, not bothering to hide where she had just come from. Richard had woken up alone and it wasn’t hard to figure out where Therese had been. These facts, however, didn’t seem to phase Richard. It was then that Therese realized that he knew, he knew all of it. She didn’t know how, but that didn’t seem to matter. Any anger or confusion or frustration that he felt was buried somewhere deep within. He looked at her with an even expression. Almost a challenge, as if he was waiting to see her next move. Therese looked over her shoulder at the cottage than back at him.

“I’m coming with you,” she said.


	16. I Lost Her

When Carol woke, she believed it to be the same as every other day. She temporarily forgot what had transpired yesterday and rolled over, expecting to feel Therese next to her in bed. Carol continued to roll, however, and did not meet the soft body of the other woman, she rolled straight off the bed, which brought her to full consciousness. She sat up on the floor of her home, confused and disoriented. She looked over at the bed that now only held ruffled bedsheets and pillows, Therese wasn’t there. Suddenly it all came back to her. Therese sneaked into her bed, the crying, the hours of crying and Richard. Richard, who wanted to take Therese away. Carol scrambled off the floor and ran out of her home, towards the bed and breakfast. 

She didn’t even stop to consider that she was dressed in only her nightclothes, a while cotton dress that fell to mid calf. She burst through the doors of the bed and breakfast to find it still and quiet. There was no one in the breakfast room or lobby. She ran up the stairs towards Therese’s room and opened it to find an empty room. The bed was made, all the luggage was gone. The room felt cold and stale, like no one had been there for ages. A tightness formed in Carol’s chest and she felt hot tears behind her eyes. She hurried back downstairs and out onto the porch. She looked up and down the beach several times before she saw a faint figure in the distance, making their way back into town, away from the bed and breakfast. 

The sand beneath Carol’s feet was cold and damp as she ran. The further she moved down the beach, the more faint the person became. Mid movement, Carol realized why all of this was so familiar. The dream, her dream, but she knew she wasn’t dreaming right now. This was happening, she had been warned several times and didn’t fully understand what it meant until now. Therese was at the other end of that beach and Carol was about to lose her. She felt inside like she already had, there was an emptiness there, an ache that continued to grow with every moment. 

“Therese!” she screamed, her voice muffled by the wind. 

Carol could hardly see her from this distance, but she could have sworn the younger woman looked up at the sound of her voice. A glimmer of hope appeared within Carol, but quickly disappeared when Therese moved further away. When Therese disappeared off the beach, Carol changed directions and went back to her home and to where her car was parked. She hadn’t driven it in ages, she shoved the key into the ignition, praying that it would start and it did. She took off, rattling down the uneven roads and towards the airport. 

When she arrived she parked haphazardly and saw that Phil’s taxi was also there. He was leaning against it, smoking a cigarette casually. She ran up to him and the young man seemed to register her intention by the look on her face. He looked apologetic, sympathetic. 

“She just went in with that Richard guy. I’m sorry, Carol,” Phil said meaningfully. 

“I’m going in.”

“They won’t let you past security.”

“I have to try, don’t I?” Carol said before moving towards the entrance. 

The doors opened suddenly and Richard emerged from them, making a straight beeline towards Carol. He was no longer carrying the friendly and aloof persona that he did yesterday with her, he looked angry, threatening. He looked at her like he knew exactly who she was, knew exactly what she did. For the first time in a long time, Carol felt genuinely scared. 

“You made a bad decision coming here, lady.”

Carol tried to move around him, “I need to talk to Therese.”

Richard held his ground in front of her, “I’m not going to let you. If you know what’s best for her, you’ll leave her alone. You won’t ever contact her again.”

Carol was rarely one to get angry, but Richard ignited something deep within her, “I didn’t realize that you were in charge of her. Therese is an adult, she can make her own decisions.”

“And she decided to come with me. To leave you. You’re not going to change her mind, it’s already been made up.”

“You blackmailed her into leaving with this job opportunity,” Carol pointed out, “She probably feels like she doesn’t have any other choice, but she does.”

Richard stalked closer to her, “Stop talking about her like you know her. You know nothing about her. You’ve known her for only eight weeks. I’ve known her for four years.”

Carol was only a couple inches shorter than Richard, but made herself feel taller, “If you knew her as well as you say, you would know that she’s not in love with you. That your relationship was over a while ago.”

Richard seized Carol’s arm, “And you think she’s in love with you?! You’re some old, lonely woman who’s never left this godforsaken town. What do you have to offer her? You confused her, got into her head.”

“I care for her more than you ever did or will,” Carol said defiantly, “You’re just pissed off that she finally realized she doesn’t need you.”

Richard raised his hand, but before he was able to do anything, Phil dragged him off Carol. 

“Leave her alone, man. Don’t you have a flight to catch?” Phil said, obviously trying to conceal his anger. 

Richard backed up a few steps and pointed at Carol, “If you contact her… I swear to God… I’ll…”

“You’ll do what?” Carol challenged. 

“You have no idea what you’re up against,” Richard warned her, “It’s not just me, there’s bigger stakes in this for you.”

He turned to leave, “What the fuck does that mean?” Carol shouted at him.

Phil moved to stand beside her, “Just let him go, Carol. He’s not worth it. I’m sure you’ll hear from Therese once she’s back in New York.”

“I don’t think I can wait,” Carol said before getting back into her car. 

\- - - - 

The moment Carol got back home, she dug out her father’s old suitcase and began to throw clothes into it. She wasn’t thinking clearly or rationally, all she could focus on was Therese. She didn’t know what she was doing, she never did. All she knew was that she needed to be with her, needed to make this right. If that took flying out to New York and finding her, then so be it. Carol wouldn’t allow herself to be afraid or intimidated by Richard. For once, she had something, someone in her life worth holding on to, worth fighting for and she wasn’t about to back down. Therese was worth it, Therese would always be worth it. 

It wasn’t long before Carol had packed everything she needed and locked up her home. She stopped at the bed and breakfast to let her employees know her plan. They had already been preparing for her to leave, her departure had just come early. A part of her chastised herself for being so impulsive, so reckless, but she had never done anything like this before. She knew she could stay in Nerinda and keep on making excuses for herself not to leave, not to take risks if she wanted to. She felt like she had changed over this summer, she didn’t want to go back to her old ways, to her old self. She’d gained a confidence and trust in herself that she’d never had because of Therese. Her business affairs were dealt with smoothly and quickly, leaving Carol one last stop to make before she left. 

She arrived at Abby’s apartment not fully understanding why she’d come, but knowing that she couldn’t bring herself to leave without telling the woman. Some part of her deep down believed that she owed Abby an explanation given their history together. She knocked several times on the door and held her breath while she waited. When the door opened and Carol saw Abby on the other side, her face a picture of worry and confusion, she couldn’t help herself. She started to sob. 

“Carol, what happened?”

Carol’s whole body had started to tremble, “I lost her.”

Abby stood aside and let Carol enter. Her eyes drifted down to the suitcase that was in Carol’s hand. 

“Richard, her boyfriend came yesterday. He came out of nowhere and told her about this amazing job opportunity. I think it’s real, but I also think it was planned. He manipulated her into leaving. She didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

Carol burst into another wave of tears as she sat down on Abby’s bed. The woman she had considered her best friend for two decades, looked at a loss for words for perhaps the first time in her life. If Carol was less distraught, however, she would have noticed that Abby’s expression was one of pure guilt. 

Carol wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, “I thought we had more time. We were going to drive to New York together. I had planned to stay with her for a couple weeks. We were going to work it out. I thought we had more time.”

Abby sat next to her and Carol felt two arms wrap around her and start to stroke her reassuringly. The contact only made Carol cry more as she thought about how her whole world was falling apart. She’d lost her father, she’d lost her best friend and now Therese. Her sense of safety and security in her life had been shattered and she felt like she was free floating now.

“Are you going somewhere?” Abby asked, looking down at Carol’s suitcase once again. 

The question seemed to bring Carol out of her hysteria, “Yes. I’m going after her. I’m getting the next flight out. I just came over to tell you.”

Abby’s whole body tensed up, “What?”

“I can’t just stay here, Abby. I need to see her, talk to her. I think she just got scared.”

“What about your business? You’re just going to drop everything and leave?”

“My staff have known that I would be leaving for a few weeks for a while now. They’re prepared, I’m not worried about them. They don’t need me here to run things smoothly.”

Abby was argumentative, “What if an emergency happens? You’re going to be across the country!”

“Cell phones and emails exist, Abby,” Carol teased, “Why are you so stressed about this?”

“No,” Abby shook her head, “This isn’t a good idea. I don’t think you should go.”

“I’m not asking for your permission, Abby,” Carol reaffirmed, “I’m going. I just came here to tell you. So you weren’t surprised.”

Abby stood up, “Carol, you’ve known this girl for eight weeks and now you want to just uproot everything?! You have a life here, you have staff and people who depend on you!”

“I really didn’t come here for the lecture, Abby. I’m going. I’m going now, actually.”

Carol rose and took her bag. She made her way to the door, but Abby intercepted her. 

“I’m not letting you go,” Abby said seriously. 

“Abby, you’re reminding me why we had all these arguments. This isn’t healthy. This isn’t friendship.”

“I called Richard,” Abby said, “I called him and told him about you and Therese. I told him that if he didn’t come soon, he would lose any change with Therese. I told him that she would need a substantial reason to leave.”

Carol was speechless, “Abby, what the fuck?! Why did you do that?!”

“To protect you!” Abby exclaimed, “You’ve been wandering around town all summer acting like some lovesick teenager. It wasn’t always going to be this way, she needed to leave eventually. I wanted to prevent you from getting hurt even more.”

“Protect me,” Carol repeated in a low voice, “The woman I care about just left without a goodbye, without an explanation. Abby, I’m heartbroken and it’s all because of you.”

“Carol, you can’t go. You’re making a huge mistake,” Abby continued, “I have my ways of making you stay.”

“You’re threatening me now?”

Abby stormed over to her desk, opened one of the drawers and took out several papers that were dusty and well worn. Carol’s eyes widened, she knew exactly what those papers were. 

“All this time… you’ve had them? You took them? Why?” she asked. 

“Because I can’t let you go,” Abby’s voice was strained, “I know this is the one thing that will make you stay. Your name may be in the will, but these are the legal documents for the bed and breakfast. Since they are in my possession, I technically have the rights to the business. I could sell it out from underneath you, Carol. You would have nothing after that.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” Carol breathed, “Abby, the bed and breakfast is the only thing I have left that was my father’s. It’s been in my family for years. You wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I would,” Abby argued, “So it’s up to you, Carol. Are you going to leave? Or stay?”


	17. I Miss You

When Therese returned to New York, all the sunshine, light and happiness remained in Nerinda and did not come with her. It was almost as if the moment she departed the plane and landed back on New York soil, she had returned to the real world after being in some sort of fantasy. Over the next couple weeks, the guilt and pain within her only grew. She went to work and walked the streets of New York feeling impossibly alone and misdirected. She was back in her regular life, but she felt like a piece of her was missing and resided with Carol in Nerinda. 

Carol. Therese would never forgive herself for leaving the blonde like that, it was possibly the most cruel thing she had ever done. She knew that she wouldn’t have been able to get through that goodbye though. She knew that she wouldn’t have been able to look at Carol’s face without breaking down, so she didn’t. She left without a word, without a letter and without a goodbye. At the time it was what felt right, but as time went on Therese knew that it wasn’t. In the process she most likely hurt herself and Carol more in the process. 

Her original plan had only been to go back temporarily, to fix what needed fixing in New York then return, but now that she was here she wasn’t sure. Her life and her summer in Nerinda felt like a dream that she wanted to hold onto, but maybe it wasn’t realistic. Maybe it was always supposed to be like this, Therese had to have that experience away and with Carol to understand things about her life and herself. The longer she spent away from Carol, the harder it became, Therese wasn’t sure if she had it within her to return or to face the woman again. She couldn’t help but feel cowardly and ashamed after the pain she had caused. Perhaps it was in Carol’s best interest for Therese to leave her alone. The blonde’s world didn’t need to be shaken anymore. Therese wasn’t sure if she truly believed that, but the reasoning made her feel better in a sense and allowed her to justify her actions. 

A month had passed since Therese left Nerinda and she had started to wonder whether she had been there at all. It felt like years ago, a world away from the one she existed in now. Carol continued to plague her dreams constantly, but her beautiful face had taken on a dream like quality that didn’t seem real. As Therese’s memories proceeded to blur with her pain, she desperately hoped that Carol would never disappear or become fuzzy. The memories of her and with her were too great, too powerful to forget or let slip into the unconscious. Over the first couple of weeks, Therese had received several phone calls from an unknown number, that she believed to be Carol. She ignored them each time, not ready to confront her actions and Carol’s situation back in Nerinda. A voicemail was only left by the number once and nothing was said, however, Therese could almost hear Carol’s breathing on the other line, haunting her. Sometimes at night, Therese could almost picture herself laying beside Carol in bed, back in her little cottage. She could almost see Carol peacefully asleep, her blonde locks splayed out on the pillow. She could almost feel Carol’s slender arms draped across her waist, holding her close. Therese wasn’t sure whether these vivid images she had pained her or brought her a sense of peace over these last weeks. 

“Dozing off there, Belivet?”

Therese was snapped out of her daydreaming and brought back to the boardroom where she sat alongside Richard and the New York Times’ other foreign correspondence. Where she had sat several times since being back in the city. 

“No,” Therese said with an easy smile, “Just concentrating on what you’re saying.”

Her boss crossed his arms and looked at her with an expression of amusement and challenge, “Then what was I saying, may I ask?”

Therese cleared her throat, “That journalism is meaningless without opinion and personal viewpoint. That’s what makes it come alive. People want to be challenged in their perceptions of events and the world. Our work isn’t just to inform, it functions to initiate interesting conversation.”

Her boss winked at her and looked around the room, “You all better watch out for this one. She’s sharp as a tack and that’s what we need. Someone who makes us all better.”

“Hear, hear,” Richard added with a satisfied smirk. 

“Okay that’s all I wanted to discuss for today,” her boss concluded, “You all have your assignments. Get to work please and keep me updated.”

Everyone started to stand and gather their things. Therese exited the boardroom and threw her messenger bag over her shoulder. Richard met her outside with an excited grin. 

“He’s really impressed with you,” he said with an air of pride. 

“Hopefully I can keep it up,” Therese pressed her mouth into a smile and hoped Richard didn’t notice the lack of authenticity in it. 

“You want to go home? Or maybe we can stop for lunch somewhere?”  


“You go on without me,” Therese encouraged him, “I wanted to go to the darkroom and develop some photos.”

“Okay,” Richard kissed her cheek, “Don’t forget, my ma and pa are coming over for dinner tonight.”

“I won’t.”

Therese watched Richard disappear down the long hallway. She turned in the other direction and made her way down several floors, to where the darkrooms were. Since they had been back, Richard had been uncharacteristically kind and accommodating to her. They hadn’t discussed Carol or Nerinda at all and Therese figured he wouldn’t bring it up. He just seemed glad to have her back on a more even footing, to have their lives connected again. Maybe he figured the geographical distance from Carol would affect Therese’s feelings. Therese hadn’t returned with the intention of continuing a relationship with Richard, it just happened. They did have four years of history under their belt, they worked together and had several of the same friends. It was almost easy for her to return to the lifestyle, to return to life with him. 

Therese reached the darkroom and was glad to see that it wasn’t in use by anyone else. She fished out her old film camera from her messenger bag and got to work, revelling in the silence and solitude. The roll she developed contained photos she had taken recently, but also ones from Nerinda, that she had completely forgotten about. As she saw several images of Carol slowly appear across the paper, Therese felt nauseated and dizzy. It wasn’t all a dream, she had proof in front of her that it had all happened. That last summer was real. She felt frozen as she watched the photographs soak in the tubs of water. Carol at the lagoon, Carol on the beach, Carol doing work, Carol cooking, Carol laughing, Carol smiling, Carol in bed. Therese braced her hands on the counter as her posture sank. 

“Carol…” she addressed the photographs, “I miss you… I miss you…” she whispered. 

\- - - - 

Therese returned back to her small apartment that she shared with Richard, the photographs in her bag. She had spent hours in the darkroom, just staring at the photographs she had taken, trying to make sense of it all. She felt exhausted, physically and emotionally and not in the mood to socialize with Richard’s family tonight. 

“Terry?” Richard came out of their bedroom to greet her at the front door. 

“Hi.”

“How was the dark room?”

“Fine.”

“Can I see what you developed?”

“They’re not very good Richard-”

“-I highly doubt that.”

It was clear Richard wasn’t going to back down. Therese reluctantly reached into her bag and retrieved the photographs. She handed the small stack to Richard, remembering that the ones of Carol were all at the bottom, hopefully he wouldn’t look that far. Richard stood there on the spot as he flipped through the photographs, taking the time to consider each one. When he reached the ones of Carol, Therese held her breath. Richard’s expression was hard to read, but the intimacy and care that the photographs evoked was undeniable, even he couldn’t dispute that. 

“You need to let this go, Therese. Let her go,” Richard said at last. 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Therese snapped.

Richard shook his head, “No you aren’t. Only part of you is here, I can tell. Your mind is always elsewhere. Back there, with her.”

“Richard I’m really not in the mood to talk about this right now,” Therese tried to walk around him. 

“Are we ever going to talk about it? What exactly happened last summer, Therese?” Richard’s voice increased in volume. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Therese said firmly, “Just leave it alone.”

She tried to move around Richard again, but he intercepted her and kissed her roughly. Therese was so taken aback, she put her hands on his shoulders and tried to push him off, but he seemed to have interpreted the gesture as enthusiasm. He only kissed her more, his hands started to grope her and roam all over her body. It was suffocating. 

“Richard…” she protested weakly. 

“Missed you so much,” Richard said in a low voice, “Never going to let you go.”

Richard backed her up into the wall and pushed her jacket off her shoulders. Therese wasn’t necessarily protesting his actions anymore, but she certainly wasn’t enjoying the attention she was receiving either. She didn’t like how Richard’s touch felt like an attack, like an invasion. She didn’t like the way his tongue darted into her mouth, or the clumsy way he tried to undress her. She didn’t like how he pawed at her breasts and how hard he squeezed them. All of it was a complete downgrade after being with Carol, who was the complete opposite. 

Carol who had always been patient, tender and gentle with her. Carol who treated her and touched her like she was the most special thing in the world. Carol who always sought out Therese’s pleasure first and not her own. Carol who could arouse her and overwhelm her with only a look.

Richard continued to kiss her and Therese tried to lose herself in it, tried to enjoy it. All it did, however, was remind her of who she wanted it to be, who wasn’t kissing her. She wanted it to be Carol doing this to her. She wanted to open her eyes and see those blue ones staring back at her. Why was she doing this to herself? Why was she putting herself through this?

Therese could feel Richard’s groin rubbing against her, could feel the hardness there that made her shudder. Richard eagerly unzipped her pants and hastily shoved them down. He awkwardly cupped her through her underwear in an attempt to arouse her. His fingers grazed the top of her underwear, but Therese stopped him. There was no way she was letting anyone inside her after Carol. 

“Therese, what are you doing?” Richard’s words were slurred like he was drunk.

“Your parents are going to be here anytime now,” Therese reminded him, “I need to go get ready.”

This rationality seemed to work on Richard who blinked himself out of his trance, “You’re right, you’re right.”

Therese pulled up her pants, “Get dinner started. I’m going to take a shower then I’ll come help.”

“To be continued later,” Richard murmured. 

Therese gathered her things and made her way into the bathroom. The moment she closed the door she turned around and vomited into the toilet. She could still feel Richard’s hands on her, hands that weren’t Carol’s and it made her feel absolutely sick. She heaved until there was nothing left anymore, flushed the toilet and sat beside it on the bathroom floor feeling utterly drained. 

She pictured Carol sitting beside her. Could feel the woman stroking her shoulder’s reassuringly, could hear Carol’s soft murmuring in her ear. Therese pulled her knees into her chest and buried her face into her legs. 

“Carol… I miss you,” she said again, “I miss you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still angry with Therese?


	18. I Love Her

To say that Carol was heartbroken would be an understatement. She was absolutely devastated and had been since the dreaded day Therese left. 

Abby’s leverage on Carol definitely shot down her confidence and willingness to leave, but it wasn’t what kept Carol in Nerinda after this long month. Carol knew at the end of the day, that as angry as Abby was, she wouldn’t hold true to her word. She had succeeded in scaring Carol, but after she had calmed down she realized how many holes were in Abby’s scheme. Abby was maybe more fragile than Carol was right now and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. Carol felt conflicted, should she be mad at her best friend or sad for her? Suddenly Abby’s explosive and impulsive decisions all made sense to Carol, she was sitting on so much that she wasn’t expressing openly. 

A month passed so quickly before her eyes and Carol started to wonder if she would always feel this way, if Therese was meant to come into her life and eventually leave. As every day and week went by, Carol’s confidence and faith in her relationship and feelings for Therese began to wean. It was radio silence on the other end and Carol set herself up for disappointment from the beginning when she expected to hear from the other woman. The lack of communication made Carol feel insecure and second guess their connection, did Therese actually care for her? Did she regard Carol as only a summer fling? The more time that passed the more that Carol became confused, the memories were hazy and blurry, her thoughts were unclear. She found herself holding on to words and snippets of conversations they had. It began to feel like what happened in the summer was a figment of her imagination, perhaps Therese truly did live only in the dreams that continued to haunt her. 

Carol woke on a grey day in early fall and went about her normal routine. Her work was the only thing getting her out of bed nowadays, she moved through her life as a zombie of sorts now. She was a shell of the person she was a month ago, an incomplete copy. Business had also slowed considerably at the end of the summer when all the tourists left. Carol found she was impossibly bored always, with no one to spend time with. Nerinda seemed to have gone into hibernation, the magical nature of summer in the small town had gone away and it felt like it would never return. It was strange, Carol felt desperate to leave Nerinda, but also stuck, she struggled to find meaning and hope in what her life had come to me. 

She dragged herself into the bathroom to have a shower and get dressed. When she was looking for something to wear from her dresser, however, she found an article of clothing shoved to the back of it that was unfamiliar. She pulled it out and dropped it like it stung her, it was Therese’s. A simple t-shirt, but a painful memory. Carol picked the clothing up again and held it gingerly in her hands. When she brought it to her nose and inhaled, she was surprised to see that the woman’s fragrance had clung to it after these weeks. Smelling it, Carol could almost visualize Therese still there with her. 

“Therese…” she murmured to the garment, “Why did you leave?”

A few tears escaped from her eyes. Before she could overthink what she was doing, Carol shrugged the shirt over her body, comforted by the memory of the brunette. 

\- - - - 

“Carol one of the rooms has a plumbing issue.”

“I’ll give Harge a call, I’m sure he’ll be able to fix it.”

“He should probably check the kitchen sink too, since he’s going to be here.”

“Good point, I’ll make a note of it.”

“Also Florence wants to talk to you about changing the menu, she wants to offer something more autumnal instead?”

“Sounds fine, you can send her to come see me whenever.”

Carol smiled at her staff member who retreated from her desk with a new sense of purpose. It was sad to think that a plumbing issue in one of the guest’s rooms was the highlight of her week so far. How dull and mundane my life had become, she thought to herself. Now more than ever, she regarded Nerinda as a sleepy, small town and not the charming tourist attraction that so many saw it as. I’m going to die here alone, she thought miserably. 

The front doors opened and Carol looked up to see Dannie McElroy striding towards her. His brow was furrowed and his expression focused. Carol suddenly wondered if he’d had any news. The two of them had been checking in with each other constantly, hoping that one of them would eventually hear from Therese.

“Did you-?”

“-I did, finally.”

Carol breathed a sigh of relief, but she didn’t necessarily feel any better. 

“She’s okay, Carol. I mean, as okay as you can be,” Dannie explained. 

Carol swallowed, “What did she say?”

“Not much,” Dannie said regretfully, “She just talked about work, she’s enjoying her new job.”

Carol looked down, “Is she still with Richard?”

“Yes,” Dannie’s face was a picture of sympathy, “I’m sorry, Carol.”

A nauseous feeling entered Carol’s stomach. They were still together. She recalled how Richard had charged over and kissed Therese that day and felt sickened. Therese had stood there stiff as a board as Richard shoved his lips against hers, it was excruciating to watch and Carol could only imagine how Therese had felt. But they were still together. Did Therese love him? Carol didn’t want to consider the thought, it hurt too much. 

“Did she say anything about… about…”

“She asked about you,” Dannie knew what she was seeking, “Very briefly, but I could tell that she wanted to the entire time. It was like the conversation built up to it.”

Carol exhaled, “Oh.”

“If you’re asking what I think…”

“I am.”

“She sounds like she’s in hell, Carol. It feels like she’s just making it through. I don’t think she’s happy.”

Dannie’s revelation didn’t make her feel any better. It hurt her to know that Therese was unhappy. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Carol said honestly.

“Weren’t you going to go after her?”

“That was before,” Carol explained, “It’s different now. I can’t explain it.”

Dannie seemed to read the conclusive energy of Carol’s words, “All I know is that the both of you were miserable. You’re the complete opposite to how you were a month ago. I’d never seen two people so happy, so…”

“So what?”

“So in love.”

\- - - - 

Later that night, Carol sat on her bed with her cellphone in hand, frozen. She’d called Therese before, but the woman had failed to answer consistently. Would this time be any different? Should she bother at all? A part of Carol didn’t care, she just wanted to hear the other woman’s voice. She needed something to hold onto, right now she felt like she was free falling. 

Just then the door knocked and startled her. She put her phone down and went to answer it. When she opened it, Abby was on the other side like so many times before, but something was different. She looked completely distraught and after a moment, Carol’s attention moved towards what the woman was holding. A stack of old, wrinkled papers that Carol recognized as the legal documents for the bed and breakfast. The ones that Abby had stolen and kept secret from her. 

“What are you doing here?” Carol asked her, “I’m really not in the mood for another argument.”

Abby’s voice was thick with emotion, “I need to talk to you Carol, please. I need to explain.”

Carol hesitated at first, but could tell that this was an exceptional circumstance and let Abby in. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen Abby this upset before, the woman always seemed to be in chipper spirits. She seemed impenetrable at most times which had always made Carol feel so inferior, so weak. 

The two women sat down on Carol’s couch in silence. Abby wordlessly passed Carol the documents, but the gesture held significant weight and meaning. Carol felt like Abby had been working up the courage to do so for a while now. 

“When did you take these?” Carol asked Abby. 

Abby was staring at her lap, “After your father’s funeral. You were so vulnerable then, it was when we were the closest. I couldn’t stand the idea of us not being in each other’s lives, so I took them. It made sense to me at the time.”

“You were sixteen at the time.” 

“Carol…”

“That’s a horrible excuse.”

“By the time I realized it was wrong, it was too late. I didn’t have it in me to tell you what I did,” Abby’s voice broke. 

“You didn’t need to do that,” Carol told her, “You were never going to lose me.”

“It felt that way. It still feels that way.”

“I’m not sure if I can help you with that.”

“You don’t need to. It’s my thing. I just need to… I don’t know. Get over myself. I need to know how to process things better instead of hurting people. Instead of hurting you.”

Carol wasn’t sure what to say or how to react. She remained silent. 

“I’m sorry,” Abby said, “I know those are just words and they don’t even come close to making up for what I did. I never actually planned on doing anything with those papers, I just saw you with Therese all summer and how happy you were and… I got scared. I got fucking scared.”

“Therese wasn’t acting as a replacement,” Carol explained, “It’s different, it’s completely different than us.”

“I’m not saying this with any expectations,” Abby began, “But I have feelings for you Carol. I’ve had feelings for you for awhile now and it took Therese arriving to admit that to myself.”

Carol was clinging on to Abby’s every word. What she was saying was what Carol had long assumed. She always knew that there was something else going on behind Abby’s facade. 

“I know that my timing absolutely sucks,” Abby continued, “I know that you had feelings for me too, a long time ago at least. I don’t think it was ever supposed to work out for us and I need to accept that. It just hurt to see you give Therese what you could never give me.” 

Carol started to cry. As angry as she had been these last weeks, what Abby was saying now was breaking a different part of her heart. She wished the woman would have told her sooner, they could have avoided so much hurt and pain for the both of them. 

Abby took her hand, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I’ve been a shitty person and an above shitty friend. I just want everything out in the open, no more secrets. I haven’t been honest or open about anything and I want to get better at it, even if it feels a little after the fact.”

Carol squeezed Abby’s hand, “This feels like the first real conversation we’ve ever had.”

Abby laughed, “You’re probably right.”

“I appreciate everything you’ve said,” Carol admitted, “I’m sorry too. But I think it’s going to take time. We both need time.”

“I know.”

The two friends sat there in silence for a long time. Carol wasn’t sure how long, but it felt like hours as they digested what had just been said. It felt like they were on the right track, but there was still a lot of work to be done. Things don’t get resolved overnight and Carol was sure that with time Abby and her would be friends again. Or she hoped they would be at least. 

“So,” Abby said at last.

“So.”

“What are you going to do about Therese?”

The question was asked with genuine interest. If Abby was feeling any jealousy or malice, it didn’t show. 

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

“Dannie seems to think so as well.”

“What are you thinking right now?” Abby asked her, “What do you want?”

Carol deliberated, “Her. I want Therese.”

“And why do you want her?” Abby asked as a follow up.

Carol didn’t hesitate this time, “Because I love her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my lovely readers: what would you like to read next from me? Let me know your thoughts/requests!


	19. Explain It to Me

“Terry, can you just stop what you’re doing for a second? Can we talk about this?”

“There’s nothing else to talk about.”

“I think you’re being really disagreeable and frankly impulsive.”

“My mind was actually made up over a month ago, Richard. This isn’t impulsive. I’m finally doing something about it.”

Therese hastily shoved her clothes and belongings into her suitcase which laid open on the bed. Richard stood in the middle of their bedroom and watched with a frustrated expression as Therese moved about the space like a tornado, there was no stopping her. The last couple weeks had only gotten worse and therefore proved to Therese how big of a mistake she was making. She couldn’t do this anymore, she couldn’t lead this fake life pretending to be happy when she wasn’t. She would figure everything else out later, but all she knew in the moment was that she needed to move out and leave Richard, for good. 

“To say for a minute you practically want to say goodbye because of some silly crush?!”

“It’s not just a crush.”

“Then explain it to me.”

Therese was beyond frustrated, “You don’t understand!”

“I do. I understand completely, you’re in a trance!”

Therese continued to throw things into her suitcase, “I’m wide awake, I’ve never felt more awake in my life. Why don’t you leave me alone?”

Richard quieted, “Because I love you.”

Therese scoffed, causing an incredulous look on Richard’s part. She knew that he believed what he was saying, but Richard didn’t truly love her and neither did Therese. They had both remained in this relationship because of safety and security, it was easy for them, but it was no great love or healthy partnership even. 

“This isn’t love, Richard,” Therese assured him, “This hasn’t been anything for awhile now. We both know that.”

“You’re just giving up.”

“No, I’m realizing when it’s time to move on. There’s nothing left for me here. It’s not fair to either of us for me to stay in this when my heart is somewhere else.”

“You’re still living in the summer, Terry,” Richard said, “That’s not real life. This is. You can’t just run away from your problems to your small coastal town.”

“I don’t have the energy to explain this to you anymore, Richard. You’re not listening and also I’m not telling you this to get your opinion. I’m leaving today and that’s the end of it.”

Therese went into the bathroom to gather her toiletries, Richard trailing right behind. 

“So what’s the plan Terry? Are you going to drop everything and fly back to Carol? Are you going to quit your job?”

Therese spoke through her teeth, “You’re not going to convince me out of this. You’re not scaring me.”

“When was the last time you even spoke to her? How do you know she hasn’t moved on?”

“This isn’t about Carol.”

Richard laughed, harsh and bitter, “That’s absolute bullshit. This is one hundred percent about Carol.”

“This is about me taking control of my life again, making decisions that are going to make me actually happy. I’m done with just floating through life, I don’t want to just accept things for how they are anymore when they could be better.”

“You talk like you have an absolute shit life. You live in Manhattan and work at the New York Times for god’s sake,” Richard pointed out. 

Therese shook her head and started to laugh, “Yeah, I’m so done with this.”

The doorbell rang then and caused the perfect interruption to the ongoing argument. Therese turned and made her way to the door. 

“Perfect timing!” Therese exclaimed. 

“Where are you going?” Richard’s irritation was evident.

“The doorbell rang if you didn’t notice!” Therese called out.

“Do you need to answer it now? We were in the middle of talking!”

“That’s exactly why I’m answering it,” Therese muttered. 

She pulled open the door without much thought and without looking through the peephole and almost collapsed when she did. She wasn’t prepared to see a certain blonde waiting for her on the other side. She wasn’t prepared to look into the blue eyes that belonged to one Carol Aird. 

“Carol?!” she exclaimed. 

“Therese,” Carol sounded so relieved. 

Carol was here, she was actually here, in New York and on her doorstep. Therese felt like she was frozen to her spot. Carol looked even more beautiful than she remembered. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes wide. She was dressed as she always was, simply and naturally with her hair running down her back in its long, golden curls. She looked like no one else in New York, almost as if she was from a different world. 

A large part of her felt terrified, this was the first time she had seen Carol after leaving her without a goodbye. She didn’t know how it affected the woman, but assumed that it had hurt her deeply. She had to confront all the things she had been running away from and own up to her actions. There was so much she wanted to say to Carol and she didn’t know how to put it into coherent words. So much time had passed, but the memories and images were still so visceral and vivid in her mind. Seeing Carol brought all of those moments back in full colour in the most beautiful way. Most of all, Therese felt like she was finally taking a deep breath by seeing her, she was instantly comforted and reassured that the woman was there. 

Therese tried her best to gage Carol’s reaction. What was she thinking? She looked surprised and a little stunned, but also scared and disappointed? Her face held a gentle tenderness and care that Therese immediately recognized as well as an underlying look of lust and desire. A heightened sense of emotion radiated off Carol and Therese wasn’t sure whether the blonde was going to attack her or kiss her. 

“You’re here,” Therese breathed at last.

“I was going to come sooner,” Carol explained, “I wanted to come sooner.”

Therese was at a loss, “Why didn’t you?”

She could tell that Carol wanted to look down, but she maintained eye contact, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”

Therese didn’t have the chance to formulate a response, because Richard suddenly pushed past her and moved across the doorway. 

“What are you doing here?!” he asked while pointing a finger at Carol. 

“Richard!” Therese moved forward as well and attempted to put herself between the two of them. 

“I told you to leave her alone! I said that you would regret this!” Richard was positively fuming. 

“Forgive me if your empty threats don’t intimidate me, Mr. Semco,” Carol said in a cool voice. 

“It’s been over a month, why are you here now?!” Richard exclaimed. 

“I don’t think I owe you any explanation. This is between me and Therese,” Carol said simply with a newfound confidence that Therese hadn’t been privy to back in Nerinda. 

“Richard, just go inside please,” Therese pleaded, “This isn’t about you.”

Therese wasn’t sure whether Richard was actually conceding, but he seemed to back down after seeing Therese and Carol as a reunited front. 

“Fine, you two deserve each other,” he said bitterly before disappearing back inside the apartment. 

Therese took a deep breath and looked towards Carol again. 

“You two are still together?” Carol asked through a tight voice. 

Therese bypassed her question, “Can we go somewhere else to talk?”

Carol nodded, “The place I’m staying? It’s not far from here.”

\- - - - 

Carol led Therese to the small Airbnb she was staying at which happened to be only a couple of city blocks away. They walked in complete silence, unmistakably thick tension hovering between them. As they walked, Therese looked at Carol and experienced several flashes of their time together, it all came back to her like a flood. She wanted things to be how they were, she wanted it to be easy and carefree between them again, but she knew there were many things to be addressed still. 

It felt wrong, being around Carol and not being able to touch her. Therese wanted nothing more than to reach out and take her hand, hold her and kiss her. There was a certain remoteness and guardedness to Carol that was unfamiliar to her though. It reminded her of how they were at the beginning of the summer, before Therese had been able to break through the barriers and walls the blonde had up that were apparently back now. Her heart broke as she knew that she was a part of this change in the woman. Carol may be here, but it was clear that she didn’t trust Therese, that she felt self conscious and confused about where they stood. 

When they arrived, Carol wordlessly got them each a glass of water. Externally, she seemed calm and unphased, but Therese could tell that this was a front, that she was likely preparing herself mentally and emotionally for the conversation they were about to have like she was. The silence soon became too much for Therese, however, she couldn’t bear it anymore. 

“Carol, I’m so sorr-”

“-You left without saying goodbye.”

Carol’s voice sounded broken and hollow. The blonde looked at her from across the room, the space between them felt like yards instead of meters. 

“I know-” Therese started to say.

“-I woke up and you were gone,” Carol continued, “Whatever you had to do, whatever decision you had to make, couldn’t it have waited? Couldn’t we have discussed it together?”

Therese knew that Carol was right, that she could have done all of it differently and better. 

“And then I heard nothing. For a whole month,” Carol emphasized, “That almost hurt more. It was like you had never existed to begin with, I started to wonder whether I imagined it all. Whether the whole thing was a part of my dream.”

“I didn’t know what to say,” Therese felt her chest tighten, “Nothing I could say could have repaired what I did.”

“Well,” Carol’s voice was deadly quiet, “What do you have to say now?”

Therese walked closer to Carol, but the blonde retreated several steps and crossed her arms, protecting herself. 

“You didn’t deserve what I did to you,” Therese explained, “I behaved like a scared, immature child. I ran back here instead of facing what I needed to. I could have saved us both a lot of hurt by just staying. By talking to you.”

Carol pressed a palm to her forehead, “If you know this why didn’t you do anything about it?”

Therese was frustrated, “It’s not that simple, Carol.”

“Then explain it to me. What am I to you even, Therese? Did the summer mean anything to you?”

“Of course it did,” Therese argued, “I meant everything I said. I feel the same way about you.”

“Why does it feel like it’s changed?”

“We’ve changed,” Therese pointed out, “Things weren’t always going to stay the same.”

Carol started to pace, “And what about Richard?”

Therese was confused, “What do you mean?”

“You’re still living with him,” Carol said distastefully, “You’ve been with him since you got back.”

“I ended it today, Carol. I was packing to leave when you arrived.”

“I see.”

“I don’t have feelings for him, Carol. I haven’t for a long time”

“You keep on saying that.”

“Because it’s true!”

“Have you slept with him?” Carol’s eyes were ablaze. 

Therese swallowed, “Almost”

“What does almost mean?”

Therese fell silent and Carol looked like she was going to be sick.

“I don’t think I can do this, Therese,” she said, “I’m not going to stand here and act like I’m okay with all of this when I’m really not. It hurts too much.”

“Please, Carol. Please just tell me what I can do to make this better. I’ll do anything,” Therese pleaded. 

“I think you should go, Therese. I need to think… I need to think about this.”

Therese shook her head, “I’m not leaving.”

“Therese…”

Therese bridged the space between them so she was standing directly in front of Carol. The blonde averted her eyes and refused to meet her gaze.

“I’m not leaving, Carol,” Therese said again, “I don’t want to.”

A combination of a sigh and a groan escaped Carol, a sound that communicated both frustration and defeat. The woman looked up abruptly, the force of her stare making Therese feel both deliciously dizzy and nervous. Therese could feel her heartbeat throughout her whole body, could feel her palms start to sweat. 

Before she could comprehend what was happening, she had been pushed up against a nearby wall with deliberate force, her back flat against the surface. Carol’s hands suddenly weaved into her hair and Therese felt the blonde’s warm breath on her mouth before soft lips descended on her own and captured her in the most mind numbing and all consuming kiss.


	20. Use Your Words

Countless emotions were running through Carol’s mind while she talked to Therese..She was angry, frustrated, disappointed, confused, sad, relieved, happy all at the same time and she was genuinely surprised she hadn’t spontaneously combust yet. Her joy at finally seeing the other woman again and reuniting had been overshadowed by her irritation at the whole situation. Therese had continued to be dishonest with her about why she left, she hadn’t explained herself and Carol believed she had earned a proper explanation. She wanted, no she needed an explanation. 

Perhaps it was all these pent up emotions that made Carol do it. Before she knew what was happening she had pushed Therese up against the wall and kissed her. It was wrong and inappropriate, they needed to talk about what happened. The taste of the woman’s sweet breath was distracting though, as well as the quiet gasp that escaped Therese when their lips met. Carol pulled away slightly, she needed to stop this. She opened her mouth to apologize, but Therese wound a hand around her neck and pulled her back in, sliding her tongue into Carol’s mouth. And that was when the last remains of Carol’s control disappeared. 

It was like a frenzy had begun. Those weeks apart had clearly done a number on them, because the two women were now clawing at each other like desperate animals. Skin was sliding against skin, hot breath was being shared as well as desperate pleas and requests muttered between searing kisses. Only some articles of clothing were removed, the parts of skin that were exposed were slick with sweat and want. Therese was softer and sweeter than Carol had remembered and she wanted to taste all of her. It seemed, however, that Therese was feeling even more desperate than Carol if possible. She kept seeking out friction and trying to redirect the blonde’s attention, but Carol wasn’t willing to give in that easily. 

That didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult though. The whimpering that Carol heard escaping Therese was utterly delicious and the sounds resonated deep within her core. Therese’s hands had weaved their way into Carol’s hair as the blonde pressed her hips against the other woman’s. It had never been like this, the previous times they’d had sex together were so tender, passionate and gentle. It was never this aggressive, never this rushed and desperate and something about it brought out a different part of Carol. And it wasn’t hard to see that Therese felt the same way. Carol abandoned Therese’s lips and moved her mouth down the woman’s throat, sucking and biting the entire time. One hand reached up to squeeze the woman’s neck while the other palmed at her breasts. 

“You taste amazing,” Carol’s voice was low, almost a growl, “Missed this, missed you.”

“Carol,” Therese was breathless as she clung onto Carol for support, “I… I need…”

Carol didn’t look up, “What do you need darling? Use your words.”

“Touch me,” Therese gasped, “Please.”

Therese grabbed Carol’s hand and moved it down, into her pants and past her underwear. Carol gasped when she felt how aroused Therese was, the woman’s sex was pulsing and absolutely dripping. She slid her fingers through the slickness, through Therese’s folds and groaned with pleasure as the other woman’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. 

“Christ, Therese,” Carol muttered, “You’re soaking.”

“I can’t wait anymore,” Therese’s chest was heaving, “Please…”

Carol pressed her mouth against Therese’s ear, “Have you been wet this entire time? Or did Richard do this to you?”

Therese became alert at Carol’s words, “No!”

Carol hummed, “He hasn’t seen you like this? He hasn’t touched you like this?” Carol sunk her fingers deeper and began to make slow, rhythmic circles, not going near the woman’s entrance. 

“No,” Therese threw her head back against the wall, “I… I didn’t let him. It felt… wrong.”

Carol was trying to keep her focus, but her hand was deep in Therese and it was making her absolutely delirious. Just seeing the effect she had on the woman made her head spin. 

She wet her lips and asked, “Why?”

“Carol, please!” Therese pleaded. 

Carol’s hand found Therese’s chin and moved her face to look at her, “Why?” she repeated. 

Therese’s green eyes were cloudy with lust, “Because I don’t want anyone inside me besides you.”

At the confession Carol shifted her hand and smoothly thrust three fingers into Therese, conjuring a silent scream from the woman. Carol was almost as overcome as the brunette, the sensation of being inside her pulsing, tight sex was beyond heavenly. She waited several moments and watched Therese’s expression before she started a slow rhythm. Therese pulled her face back to hers and they continued to kiss, tongues intertwining. Carol pulled Therese’s leg up with her other hand and wrapped it around her waist to give herself more leverage. 

“Does it feel good, darling?” Carol asked between kisses. 

“Yes,” breathed, “Oh my god, it feels so good.”

“You’re so beautiful,” Carol muttered, “God, just look at you. I wish you could see yourself right now. I wish you could feel what I’m feeling. I want to taste you so bad.”

“Fuck, Carol,” Therese’s body had started to shudder, “You… you can’t talk like that.”

“Can’t talk like what?” Carol purred, “Do you not like it? Do you not like hearing how undone I am by you? 

“I like it,” Therese gasped, “God I like it so much, but if you don’t stop I’m going to… I’m going to…”

“You’re going to come?” Carol accentuated her question with a firm thrust of her hand. 

Carol felt Therese’s sensitive folds clench around her fingers and hand. Felt how Therese wrapped her leg even tighter around her waist. Carol knew that she was close. The unexpected reunion, the argument, all of it had been the perfect storm and build up of tension. Therese held Carol’s face in her hand and looked deep into her eyes. 

“I missed you,” Therese confessed, “I missed you so much.”

Despite the rather aggressive and sexual nature of their actions, Carol felt touched, “I thought of you every day,” she replied honestly. 

Therese closed her eyes as she rolled her hips against Carol’s hand, “You thought of me?”

“You never left my mind,” Carol said as she grazed Therese’s collarbone with her mouth, “I didn’t want to forget. I didn’t want to forget how you looked when you smiled or laughed. I didn’t want to forget how it felt to kiss you, how you tasted.”

Carol felt Therese’s entire body start to tense up. The brunette was elsewhere, but Carol could tell that she was still listening. Could tell that she needed to up the ante to give the woman her climax. 

“I thought about you every night,” she whispered, “When I was in bed. I would touch myself and imagine that you were there. That it was your hand on me, inside me.”

The words had the impact she’d hoped for and Carol watched as Therese writhed and shuddered in her hands. A pool of liquid emerged from between Therese’s legs and onto her hand and Carol felt the woman’s innermost muscles almost clamping onto her fingers. Carol covered Therese’s chest and face in kisses while the woman slowly came down from her high. 

Carol was about to remove her hand when Therese stopped her. She looked up and was surprised by how alert and scared Therese looked. 

“I love you, Carol,” Therese said. 

The words left Therese’s mouth and then, to Carol’s absolute horror, the brunette began to cry. No actually, she started to sob. Therese covered her face with her hands and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. Carol looked on in shock as Therese started to take gasping breaths. She kneeled down to rest beside her and started to rub the woman’s shoulders. 

“I’m so sorry Carol. I’m so sorry,” Therese blubbered, her face becoming redder by the minute, “I never wanted to hurt you.”

It was moments like these where Carol was reminded of Therese’s age. The woman seemed so young, so small and vulnerable. She continued to provide grounding contact, her gut telling her that Therese had much more to say. 

“I didn’t know what I was doing, I still don’t,” Therese continued, “I was so surprised when Richard showed up like that, it scared me. I’d been trying not to let my worries get to me, I’d been pushing them down for so long and when I saw him it was like they exploded. I couldn’t avoid them anymore, I had to confront the fact that the summer was over, that I would have to go back eventually. Our road trip, it was to buy me more time. I was going to form some sort of plan, I just needed more time with you.”

“Therese, what are you talking about?” Carol asked gently, “We did have a plan. We were going to work it out.”

Therese was still crying, “What was going to happen when we got to New York? We would spend time together then you would leave? Go back to Nerinda?”

“I don’t know…” Carol admitted, “I was trying to take it one day at a time.”

“I couldn’t bear the thought of it just ending,” Therese explained, “I didn’t want to believe that it was just a summer thing. I know our feelings for each other our genuine, but long distance fucking sucks. I just got scared, Carol. The summer was so amazing, so relaxing and Richard reminded me that everything would have to change. I didn’t want it to become difficult when it had been so easy.”

While Carol didn’t necessarily agree with what Therese was saying, she could understand where the woman was coming from. Therese had obviously been trying to hide her doubts and insecurities and they had ended up eating away at her. She had been confronted and didn’t know what to do so she escaped from the situation, she left Carol before she was able to second guess it. She ran away to where she thought was a safe place, then realized how lonely she was. How she’d made the wrong choice. 

“Therese,” Carol held the other woman’s hands, “Things get hard. Relationships can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean that it’s always going to be that way. Couples go through rough patches that don’t always result in a break up. Those hard times are what make a relationship stronger, they need to happen, they can’t be avoided.”

Therese wiped at her eyes, “My relationship with Richard has always been difficult, but you’re the complete opposite. You make me feel so happy and confident and strong. I think a part of me wanted to preserve what we had while it was good instead of watching it deteriorating, like what happened with Richard. It became something I stayed in for too long, not realizing that it was already over. I didn’t want that to happen to us.”

“I’m not Richard.”

“I know, I just got scared. I am scared. This means so much to me, you mean so much to me and I didn't want to ruin it, but I feel like I already did.”

“You didn’t ruin it, Therese,” Carol reassured her, “I love you too.”

The brunette’s green eyes were wide, “You do?”

Carol laughed softly, “Yes, I do.”

Therese leaned forward and kissed her, Carol could taste her tears. 

“I want this, Therese. No matter what comes, we’ll work it out together, okay?”

“Okay,” Therese agreed, “I’m sorry, Carol.”

“I know you are.”

“So…”

“So…”

Therese looked around, “What happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Carol said honestly, “What do you want to do?”

The question sounded simple, but it held a significant amount of weight. Therese started to laugh which made Carol smile.

“I need to leave Richard. Today. I was almost done packing when you arrived.”

“I guess that’s a starting point.”

“Will you help me? Oh, you probably don’t want to see Richard again, do you?”

"Not really, but I'll tolerate him for you."

Carol stood and helped Therese to her feet who pulled her underwear and pants back up, "It smells like sex in here."

"Your sex, darling," Carol corrected. 

Therese swatted at her arm, "I don't want you to get a bad Airbnb rating."

Carol laughed at the irony, "Well there's no point cleaning up now," she smiled coyly, "I have a feeling it's only going to get messier."


End file.
